Yo Vinnie,
Goddamn that was some good shit! I fucked her on two occasions. The first was not my best performance. Her pussy felt so good and I just nutted like a bitch. But JESUS fucking CHRIST if I didn't redeem myself. She came over with high expectations, and a bag full of powder. Hey! If you decide to include me in your website, call me "Bald headed freak." I fucked this girl, and this faggot (I had already fucked the "Love of His Life") left a voicemail on her shit "I KNOW you're not fucking that BALD HEADED FREAK!!! Take a shower"--Bald-Headed Freak...Named Dave Dietrich (by email)

I'MA BE ON TV AND SHIT...WOO HOOOOOOO!!! COCO PUFFS!!! BABY!!!

Dear Uncle Fester: See? Do you SEE the kind of shit we gotta deal with down here? Is that shit even fucking English and if it is fucking English, do you see a goddamned question mark anywhere in there? Anywhere at all in there in a column called ASK GODDAMNED VINNIE? OK, look, I'm OK. And because I AM so goddamned OK I'm going to give your comment the answer it deserves. Go get a pen because you ain't gonna wanna forget this. OK. Ready?

Go: Snatch smacks the crack like the crack that smacks the snatch. Monkey. Two balls in a sock. Send more white powder.

Hope that works for you.