Yo Vinnie,
I've been messing around with this girl. And just this past week, after three tries on three separate times on three different days, she starts moaning "no, no," right as I'm about to fuck her. So I think she's just saying that. And so I keep going. And then she screams at me to stop. Usually right before insertion. And so I stop. But maybe she has a rape fantasy and just wants me to take over. Yeah?--Busted & Blue (by email)

YES, VIRGINIA. THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS. JUST NOT A VERY NICE ONE.

Dear #23604: Yeah. That's right. MAYBE she just wants you to take over. Mm hm. And, fortunately for you, I have a list of things she wants you to take over. In no particular order:

1) her car payments.
2) her need to appear at a desk behind a sign that reads PLAINTIFF and finally
3) the anal rape concession at Quentin.

But we DO feel your pain. Unfortunately all we got for it is that ol' new agey crap about communicating. Unless this bitch says "I want you to rape me," you could safely assume that no means "I want you to think of a more clever way to simulate raping me."

How?

Simple. Tell her this

"the next time you come over to my house, I'm going to rape you."

If she shows up, have her sign and initial this email, and then fuck away, pal.