Red Light District

Rating: TWO "And The Other Holes?" BUSTED NUTS

When you title your DVD with the intention of spoiling Christmas before it's even bloody arrived, there's always going to be a sense of a letdown.

So, many girls get the DP treatment for the duration? Cool, but unless you pull out some real fucking corking spunk targets, Red Light District, the surprise is all but gone.

It pains us to say it, but how many times can you witness both holes getting filled before monotony sets in?

There are other issues to marvel over, too.

Like precisely why MISSY MONROE is covering up her heroically bad asscheek tattoo by putting her underwear back ON in the opening seconds of her contribution. A real mystery, right there. They're soon off again to allow her to gush like a broken water main all over a tasteful purple and yellow couch that looks as if several Sesame Street characters died to make it.

MISSY MONROE. ON HER WAY.

Snap a still while she sucks the western world's largest members, meanwhile, and it takes a moment to realize ancient image manipulation software Goo hasn't been employed. And we're not sure if we dig a girl actually referring to her own orifices as pink and stink, but kudos for the thematic effort, Missy. All the same, it's an impressively close call which one is gaping wider by the end.

The rest?

Filler of another nature, rife with forgettable skanks. By the cum-splattered conclusion, in fact, you're so unimpressed by the ordinarily artform-worthy act of simultaneously easing two cocks into one girl that from now on you're going to need to see a chick made watertight every night just to manage a lob-on… –- JEFFREY CHEGWIN

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