"MY RETARD SON WILL IN NO WAY AFFECT MY ABILITY TO HELP MY DAUGHTER TO AS MUCH COCK AS POSSIBLE. BUT THAT'S OFF LIMITS." SAYS SARAH PALIN WHILE MENTIONING NOTHING OF HER SOON-TO-BE-RELEASED PUSSY PICS.
"MY SON WILL MAKE A WONDERFUL DEFENSE SECRETARY, DON'T YOU THINK?"
AND FROM earlier in the goddamn near past....
SKULLGAME'S CONTINUING ELECTION COVERAGE CONTINUES AS DEMOCRATS HUMP THE AIR & POINT TO THEIR CROTCHES WHILE MOUTHING "SUCK IT" TO A RAFT OF SOBBING REPUBLICANS WHO BLAME "NIGRAS" & EVERYONE WHO KNOWS A "NIGRA" FOR THEIR STUNNING DEFEAT.
THE EXERCISE of your patriotic rights in a civil society is the very fabric that binds that society in a lasting and fruitful bond of comity, polity, legality and fraternity.
T-BONE SANTA MAKES AN UNSCHEDULED ELECTION DAY APPEARANCE AT WHAT HE ASSURED US WAS A MAJOR "POLLING" STATION BUT WAS IN FACT A NUDE, GAY BEACH. THIS IS, IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, NOT AN ERROR ON HIS PART AT ALL.
Participate globally. Fuck shit up locally.
WHAT REPUBLICANS SEE HAPPENING TO AMERICA IN THE NEXT TWO YEARS
EVERYDAY. ALL THE TIME.
...AND WHAT DEMOCRATS PLAN TO DO
GEORGE W. BUSH, ON A THREE DAY BENDER, CHALLENGES DONALD RUMSFELD TO FISTFIGHT, TELLS CONDOLEEZA RICE A "DARKIE" JOKE & CRIES OUT AGAINST A CRUEL JEW GOD WHO HATES HIM AND MEL GIBSON
"YOU WANT TO FUCKING PLAY WITH ME? OK... WE PLAY!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK??! I'M YOUR FUCKING DOUGH BOY?!?! HUNH??!!? YOU WANT TO GO TO WAR?!? WE'LL GO TO WAR!!! I'LL SEND YOU ALL TO FUCKING HELL!!!" -- GEORGE "SCARFACE" BUSH ON HOW HE PLANS ON SPENDING THE NEXT TWO FUCKING YEARS.
"DIDN'T THEY GET MY FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT? HOW DARE THEY SCHEDULE AN ELECTION ON THE SAME DAY I ANNOUNCE MY DIVORCE," BRITNEY, REMINDING US YET AGAIN, WHY, OUTSIDE OF OUR SEMEN, THERE'S REALLY NO REASON FOR HER TO BE ALIVE.
WHO AMONG US DIDN'T SEE THESE TWO GENIUSES GROWING OLD TOGETHER? WELL, WHO AMONG US OUTSIDE OF NICKY BALLS.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- BRITNEY SPEARS, surprising absolutely no one, filed for divorce Tuesday from unemployed dancer and historical footnote of the briefest order Kevin Federline, officials said.
The Los Angeles County Superior Court filing cites "irreconcilable fucking differences," said court spokeswoman Kathy Roberts. Spears, 24, married "rapper" Kevin Federline, 28, in 2004. They have a 1-year-old son, Sean "My Ticket To Ride" Preston, and an infant son who was born Sept. 12. The divorce papers identify the baby as Jayden James "I'm Rich, Bitch" Federline.
Spears married Federline eight months after ending a 55-hour Las Vegas marriage to her childhood friend, Jason Alexander. Her second marriage has provided endless fodder for tabloids, which have speculated that the union was in trouble.
Calls left for Federline's representatives also were not immediately returned. As his last check to them recently bounced.
OUR PRE-ELECTION REPORT FOLLOWS...
ON THIS ELECTION eve SkullGame would like to take a little time out to exhort all of you reading to exercise your civic responsiblities tomorrow to vote...for teen-boy-loving red staters or pot-smoking-fat-girl-jizzer-on'ers...it doesn't matter. Voting is almost a sacred duty around here and because a picture is worth 1000 words we've produced a little playlette to explain to you the how [and why] our democratic system is the pride of the nations.
BROWN DOG: The Government
BLACK & WHITE DOG: The People
IT DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. NO. REALLY. IT DOESN'T.
"IF 'GAY' MEANS HAPPY & I'M NOT 'HAPPY' AT ALL HAVING BEEN CAUGHT HAVING HAD 'GAY' SEX, DOES THAT MEAN I DID NOT, IN ACTUAL FACT, HAVE GAY SEX? WITH OR WITHOUT METH?" EVANGELICAL PASTOR & REPUBLICAN TED HAGGARD DOING HIS LEVEL BEST TO CONNNFFFUUUSSSEEEE US.
REPUBLICAN HOPEFUL TED HAGGARD & ARRESTING OFFICER FRIENDLY PRIOR TO STRIP SEARCH, BACK RUB, AND AFTER ARRAIGNMENT SMOKE.
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colorado (SkullGame) -- Less than 24 hours after being fired from the mega-church he founded, evangelical Pastor Ted Haggard confessed to a "lifelong" sexual problem...of semen drinking, meth snorting and lying his ass off about both semen drinking and meth snorting.
In a letter read to members of his New Life Church Sunday, Haggard said he is "a deceiver and a liar. And a butt freak. And a big ol' butt freak. And with a coupla rails of crank? An even BIGGER butt freak." Haggard apologized to his congregation in the letter and asked for their forgiveness. What on account of all the butt freakery.
"There is part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life," Haggard said in the letter read by Pastor Larry Stockstill, a member of the board of overseers of New Life Church, when speaking of his time as a minister.
On Saturday, members of the board ousted Haggard from the 14,000-member church, citing his "sexually immoral conduct," up to and including "not divulging his sources when he knew we were hurting. And the whole ass thing besides."
Mike Jones, male prostitute, claims the prominent pastor paid him for sex over a three-year period. Haggard only admitted to receiving a deep anal massage from the Denver man, in an interview Friday with CNN affiliate KUSA.
The pastor also admitted that he had bought methamphetamine, but said he did not use the drug and threw it away. Twice or 20 times. He lost count.
In his apology letter, Haggard made no mention of drug use, but said "I am guilty of sexual immorality." He also noted that "the things I did opened the backdoor for additional allegations."
In a separate letter from Haggard's wife to the women of the congregation, also read by Stockstill, Gayle Haggard said while her heart is broken, she remains "committed to him until death do us part. Which just might be anyday now."
Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, one of three pastors named Sunday to counsel Haggard and his family about ass stuff, issued a statement Friday saying he was "heartsick" upon learning of Haggard's admissions of ass stuffery. And shit.
HEINRICH BIMMLER WONDERS ALOUD TO ANY JEW WHO WILL HEAR: WHY CANDY IZ FREE ON ZE HALLOWEEN?
NOW HAVE SOME MORE FREE CANDY!!!
Vhy candy iz free on zee Halloween?
Because every single candy manufacture is owned by Juden, and dis "holiday" iz all part of zee grand Zionist scheme to make zee Aryan man fat and ugly and veak and so disgusting zhat all he vants to do iz sit at home and vatch Seinfeld and listen to Barbara Streisand.
Ja, zee candy is free on Halloween, but zee other 364 days, you vill be lining up like little piggies to buy more candy to feed your new habit and become a puppet of zee vorld vide Jewish conspiracy. Dis tactic iz no different zen how zee mud-people vill give you your first hit of crack for free, but zhen after zhat, no more free samples.
Come join zee 4TH REICH and fight zee sub-species mit me, and your Gouverneur Fuhrer Schwarzenegger. Sieg Heil!
IRAQIS & THE SADDAM RULING: A FESTIVAL OF BROTHERHOOD
A SUICIDE BOMBER EXHULTS IN DEATH VERDICT WHILST TAKING A BREAK FROM PREPARING DEATH VERDICT.
BAGHDAD (SkullGame) -- Many Iraqis reacted with angry jubilation to Saddam Hussein's death sentence Sunday, while others took to the streets in a gleefully sad protest.
The Interior Ministry closed two Sunni satellite TV stations accused of inciting sectarian violence, a ministry official told CNN, whilst simultaneously opening two other Sunni satellite TV stations accused of inciting sectarian violence.
Iraqi police and soldiers ordered the employees of First Channel [Zawra] and Salaheddin TV to leave their offices in Tikrit, Hussein's hometown. That is where as many as 2,000 people protested Sunday's verdict and sentence against the former Iraqi leader, defying the government's curfew.
Earlier in the day, a witness, now deceased, said the protesters in Tikrit carried posters of the former president and were shooting into the air around the bodies of other protesters. The numbers of protestors grew after the sentence was announced. Dead protestors, live ones still being in scant evidence.
Meanwhile, gleefully enraged Iraqis took to the streets in celebration in predominantly Shiite areas, including Baghdad's Sadr City neighborhood, southern towns in Wasit province, and the southern city of Najaf.
Some carried pictures of Muqtada al Sadr's grandfather -- a cleric who was murdered by Hussein in the '80s -- and shot their guns in the air in celebration.
Witnesses said people shouted "the killer deserves to be killed" and set pictures of Hussein on fire while screaming, "kill kill killy kill kill!!!!!" and strangling a few French journalists in further celebration.
"It's just such a beautiful day in Iraq today," said a tearful Mohammed Kabir. "To commemorate this beauty I will chop the head of an infidel and choke a dog to death!
Allah Akbar!!!"
