Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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Tasty
[ Full Review ]








09.15.08
SKULLGAME, NOT BLIND TO TRAGEDY, MOURNS LOSS OF POTENTIAL SALES AS STORMS RIP THROUGH PRIME PORN-PURCHASING STATES. PLUS: CINDY McCAIN: HIGH ON LIFE. PAINKILLERS. AND SCOTCH. WHILE SARAH PALIN ENDORSES COCK FLAVORED FOODSTUFFS FOR HURRICANE VICTIMS

AND with a Republican party so thoroughly behind, like we mean, RIGHT behind, the asses of average Americans in trying times, we were not so shocked when Vice Presidential nominee SARAH PALIN extended her hand and BETTY CROCKER know-how to Gulf States citizens on the tops of their soon-to-be-foreclosed upon houses.

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"SUCK IT....RIGHT DOWN, AMERICA," SARAH PALIN DIRECTS AMERICA TO FOLLOW THE STERLING EXAMPLE SET OUT BY HER 17-DAUGHTER WHO, APPARENTLY, ALSO LIKES SOUP. AND COCK.



SAY HELLO CINDY....

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"SHERSHLOPPY!!!" PERFECT.



ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: SKULLGAME MOURNS THE HURRICANE DEAD

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THE BEACHES ARE SO COOL AND EMPTY THIS TIME OF YEAR THAT I THINK ... I'LL...JUST...MASTURBATE MY TROUBLES AWAY.......

TEXAS, LOUISIANA, SOUTH CAROLINA & A BUNCH OF OTHER PLACES WHAT SHOULD ALREADY KNOW BETTER (SkullGame) -- And again in the face of tragedy ITALIAN SAL PACINO mourns the loss of life, property and 150,000 potential hits on www.Skullgame.com. Sal was recently quoted as saying "why oh why couldn't they have just purchased something with a valid Credit Card before that fucking hurricane!?! I'm sure someone who lived would have enjoyed the porn."

Reports are still streaming in from the American South reporting damage in the amount of nearly $75 (Canadian). United Nations spokesperson was reported as commenting "Why oh why couldn't they have purchased something with a valid Credit Card before that fucking wave hit!?!"

Despite the staggering financial loss, as well as the less important but equally devastating loss of life, most citizens including Thapjang Mooseheliang were reporting above all their losses the most devastating is the loss of their high speed connections, with Mooseheliang commenting "Why oh why couldn't we have just purchased something with a valid Credit Card before that fucking hurricane hit!?!"

Get the picture yet? Good!



Brought to you by Oops-What-Do-I-Do-Now? household cleanser. For those moments when you feel....not quite so....fresh. Oops-What-Do-I-Do-Now?, 10 won't get you 20...with a little elbow grease. Oops-What-Do-I-Do-Now?!!!

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WHEN THE QUESTION IS RAISED, "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? SHOOT ME?" THE ANSWER SEEMS TO INVARIABLY BE: YES. YES I AM.



THE AVN PORN SLUT SYMPOSIUM: WHY WE DON'T USE BIRTH CONTROL

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LAUREN PHOENIX SEZ "BECAUSE I HATE YOU. THAT'S WHY."

LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- It happened to JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT. It happened to MR. MARCUS. The IT in question? The possibility of fatherhood as a result of a porn slut who got pregnant being a porn slut. That is, ON CAMERA. Far be it from us to pass judgment of any kind on any kind of stupid ass behavior but how does this happen? Cops carry bullets. Housepainters bring ladders. Why don't porn sluts take the pill? Use the I.O.U. Or some Saran Wrap?



KENDALL: Because you're not supposed to be coming inside me anyway. Fucking you was the first time in two years I've fucked somebody without a condom even. Come outside me and I don't get pregnant. Easy.



NAUDIA NYCE:

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WE'LL PUT THAT DOWN AS A "FUCK YOU."

What? What?



OLIVIA:

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OLIVIA, IN DISGUISE, WITH ONE MOOK, AND THE CAPTAIN STUBBING

What? You came inside me? Fuccckkkk...



ONA ZEE:

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MY GYNECOLOGIST USED TO BE A HOUSE PAINTER. ISN'T THAT COOL?

I'm Jewish. We don't get pregnant from fucking. Read your bible. Seriously.



JENNA JAMESON: I use birth control. It's called OverExposure. Works like a charm. Like...a...Charm.



So there you have it. Not a single answer worth a damn. You, porn slut, you and me and baby make three.

Jesus.


TALES FROM THE PIPE: JIMMY THE FUCKING G ON THE METH DEALER TO THE STARS: GREG BENSON

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BIRDS OF A COCK-SUCKING FEATHER FLOCK THE FUCK TOGETHER

CENTRAL VALLEY (SkullGame) -- SKULLGAME Scrub reporter and lube tech JIMMY THE G takes us to the posh Bakersfield, CA storage unit of one Greg Benson, dealer to such notables as CHASEY LAIN, COURTNEY LOVE, GIA PALOMA, and LINDSAY LOHAN. Benson's deluxe base lab features 55 gallon drums of anhydrous ammonia, an imported laminar flow hood, and a new Kilotech KPS-50 HEAVY-DUTY Bench Scale.

"I know that today's celebrity tweakers have the most discriminating palates ever," opines the wiry Benson. "What with all the doctor shopping, substance-abuse contract clauses, and years of mainlining. I always wanted to make sure that my products' purity and potency were unrivalled in the world of both meth and recently crack dealing, to please my elite clientele. So I spared no expense in fitting my rented storage bin with only the finest lab equipment and supplies. Over here is the Boekel 4-Shelf Stainless Steel Dessicator DOMONIQUE SIMONE likes to snort Ketamine off of when he's in town!"

Jimmy the G promises to post pictures, as soon as he recovers from his exquisite crack psychosis hangover.


 


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