Swank

Rating: FIVE "The Quips Bounce Off Like Rubber" BUSTED NUTS

As much as we like to take the piss out of porn and life in general, sometimes the truth hurts. Swank's Pure Anal 5 is the kind of fuck flick that you can't help but jerk off to, with nary a snide comment forming in the brain. To the Skullgame mind, it's like poetry in motion. It's like purity. Hand me a hanky.

BLUE ANGEL'S ANAL CROMULENCE BRINGS A TEAR TO THE EYE.

Not to be outdone, though, we've got some snidery on hand. How come you other half-ass porn houses can't do porn like this? Women with astounding bodies, wonderful breasts, slender legs, gorgeous skin, and make-up that makes them look even prettier, with no tragic tattoos, and they all take it up the ass? By men who aren't theatrical apes? Why?

Ok, CAROLINE DE JAIE still looks like a stroke victim with a boob job, but with some spin, she can come off as the embodiment of the triumph of the human spirit. See? Quip-proof. –- STEELY ROB

Buy it NOW!