Rating: THREE AND A HALF “Keepin’ It Old School” BUSTED NUTS

Private’s changed over the years. Mostly for the worse, but there’s one thing that’s pretty much remained the same: the Private XXX video magazine.

The Euro giant kind of refreshed this series years ago when it was renamed what it is now. Apparently, this is #36. It’s always been more or less the same thing, though. And that’s good.

Five scenes of attractive Euro bitches getting fucked in every hole. Simple. Direct. Genius. The chick with the biggest billing, SANDRA PARKER — who’s as much a “Parker” as I am a “Dragutinovitch” — has got the best ass but also the most fake look, with decent fake knobs and a ton of slut makeup. But she isn’t necessarily the highlight of the show.

LUCY LEE, WE REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE "THIS" TALL AND AN ANAL SLUT. GOSH, IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY.

LUCY LEE, my, how you've grown. Or matured. It seems like not so long ago, you were a kinda goofy-looking, skinny but shapely ho with ears that stuck out, taking all manner of cock up your butt. Now, you've really developed into your own as a woman of the world who takes all manner of cock up her butt.

Fuck Me Wild won’t set your cock on fire, but it’s a respectable installment of Private doing what it should be doing: keeping it simple with vignettes that stick to the fucking, and foregoing all the whoop-de-do gimmicks that have gotten this fuck flick juggernaut into a stale mode for some time now. – STEELY ROB

Buy it NOW!