NEWSFLASH: SKULLGAME COLUMNIST: 'I AM A TRANSSEXUAL'
AN ARTISTS' RENDERING OF WHAT WE WISHED THE NEW ITALIAN SAL LOOKED LIKE. TIMES 2
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- A veteran SkullGame writer said in his column Thursday that he is a transsexual. ITALIAN SAL PACINO told readers of his struggle to embrace his gender, and said when he returns from vacation in a few weeks he will be known as ITALIAN SAL PACINO. He did not say whether he was having surgery or why he's not changing his last name. "I am a transsexual SkullGame writer," Sal wrote. "It has taken almost 40 years, 73 sexual episodes with very, very fat woman with beards who I kissed full on the mouth while VINNIE took photos, a million tears and hundreds of hours of soul-wrenching therapy for me to work up the courage to type those words. About the fat broads."
The 35-year-old Pacino said his brain has been "wired female" and he's tried to fight off the urge to change sexes by fucking a lot of the other sex, a move he called "a cry for help." He called writing a story about his sexuality the "most frightening of all the towering mountains of fear I somehow had to confront and struggle to scale. And it got me no extra pussy at all."
"ITALIAN SAL PACINO has been an exemplary contributor to SkullGame for over two decades and today is no exception," VINNIE ROSE said in a statement. "The decision to go public cannot have been an easy one and, while we do not make a habit of commenting on the personal and private lives of our journalists, we do look forward to continuing our relationship into the future. Especially if it means we can trick interns into fucking his freshly formed mangina."
AND from earlier in the week.....
MARILYN MANSON DUMPS SLUT WIFE FOR SLUT GIRLFRIEND IN SKULLGAME'S EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH WORLD ISSUE. PLUS: 1-LEGGED RICH SLUTS WHAT FUCKED PAUL MC CARTNEY, FAT, BALD SLUTS BRITNEY SPEARS' WHITE POWER CD RELEASE & ALEC BALDWIN & SLUT DAUGHTER!
IT IS 10 O'CLOCK...DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR SLUT WIFE IS NOW?
...ABOUT TO GET LOCKED THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOTEL ROOM AS A "JOKE". AND THE PUNCHLINE? US RUNNING HER PICTURE HERE: SMILE FOR THE CAMERA TRACY...JAKE IS WATCHING!!!
FORMER HOMOSEXUAL ACQUITS HIMSELF NICELY BY DUMPING DITA VON TEESE, SLUT, FOR EVAN RACHEL WOOD, SLUT
DITA VON TEESE, SLUT, AND NOW APPARENTLY SINGLE.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- MARILYN MANSON'S ex-wife DITA VON TEESE has revealed the depth of her failure to understand the cock when she filed for divorce from the "shock" "rocker" when an "inappropriate relationship" with another woman became too much for her, the slut, to handle.
The burlesque dancer refuses to mention any names but Manson's relationship with actress Evan Rachel Wood has been linked to his split from his wife. Von Teese tells Britain's Sunday Telegraph, "I get the impression he thinks I was unsupportive. But the truth is I wasn't supportive of his Satanism, his drug taking, his rock music playing, his slut fucking or pretty much anything else outside of his money making, and someone else came along who obviously was."
Von Teese filed for divorce in December, a year after she and Manson, 38, wed in Ireland.
She adds, "Everything went downhill after we got married. I started working taking off my clothes for strangers a lot more to escape my home life. I left with nothing. I knew that there was an inappropriate relationship going on ... and I didn't want any part of it around to remind me. I didn't want that sofa. I didn't want that bed. Or the kitchen counter. Or the bathroom carpet. Or the front seat of the Ferrari. Or the living room chair. Or the swing set in the backyard. Or the hot tub...ooooo...especially the hot tub."
AND from earlier in the week.....
THE SKULLGAME TRIBUTE TO ONE-LEGGED MULTIMILLIONAIRE SLUTS & OLD BROADS NAMED PAUL MCCARTNEY WHO USED TO LOVE 'EM. PLUS: A VARIETY OF SAUSAGE & BRITNEY SPEARS & ALEC BALDWIN IN A FATHER'S DAY TRIBUTE TO "FUCKING DUMB BITCH" DAUGHTER. WHO HE LOVES.
THIS very, very HIGH post-weekend version of SkullGame is being brought to you by SkullGame Records in association with Furious Homosexual Productions, a division of Mike LaVella and their newest release.
YES. MY FRIEND. YOU MAY. FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
HEATHER MILLS MC CARTNEY WAS A SLUT WAAAAAY BEFORE SHE BECAME A MULTIMILLIONAIRED ONE-LEGGED SLUT. IN AN IRONICALLY RELATED NOTE: PAUL MC CARTNEY TURNS 64.
HEATHER MILLS MC CARTNEY AND "FRIEND". WITH A COCK.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- HEATHER MILLS MC CARTNEY was reportedly embarrassed on her transatlantic flight earlier this week when her mile-high dancing skills failed to impress passengers.
Fresh from appearing on "Dancing With the Stars" last Monday night, Mills and her "dancing" "partner" Jonathan Roberts boarded a flight from Los Angeles to London, so Mills could spend time with her ticket-to-ride and daughter Beatrice. Britain's The Sun claims Mills was asked by camerapeople for ABC -- who were also onboard the flight -- to show off a few moves.
The Virgin Airlines pilot announced over the speaker that Mills would be performing -- but only one passenger clapped at the end of her mini-show.
A passenger says, "It was totally embarrassing for everyone concerned and all a bit shambolic. We had no idea we'd have to be watching a one-legged ho do some sort of wildly spasmodic watusi. We thought she was going to do what she did best." When asked what that was, the passenger a bit before offering, "the whole mouth sex thing."
A spokesperson for Virgin adds, "It was not our captain's idea."
BRITNEY SPEARS CLAIMS THE WORLD DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HER. HER FAT. HER BALD HEAD. OR HER VOMIT.
WHITE POWER!!!
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- BRITNEY SPEARS' father has criticized the troubled pop princess' decision to sack her longtime manager Larry Rudolph, after he forced her to go into rehab. Rudolph reportedly was sacked last week, reportedly because of his intervention after a difficult start to the year, during which Spears partied every night for a month and then shaved her head before going "nigger knocking" and spraypainting swastikas on local synagogues.
Jamie Spears claims Rudolph was chosen by the singer's family to encourage her to seek help at Malibu, Calif.'s Promises Clinic in February. He tells Page Six, "When Larry Rudolph talked Britney into going into rehab, he was doing what her mother, father and team of professionals with over 100 years of experience knew needed to be done. She was out of control. Larry was the one chosen by the team to roll up his sleeves and deliver the message, to help save her life."
Spears, in response, issued the following statement, "It's sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman's love. Or vomit. Or fat. Or bald head. Or increasingly erratic behavior of the dirty pussy variety. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now. Especially as it relates to love, vomit, fatness and baldheadedness."
A friend tells Page Six Britney was embarrassed to be sent to rehab when she was merely suffering "post-partum depression."
FATHER OF THE YEAR ALEC BALDWIN & FAMILY CAT
"I LOVE YOU, YOU GODDAMNED CAT YOU!!!"
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Actor ALEC BALDWIN has addressed a leaked answering machine rant he left for his 11-year-old daughter -- by refusing to speak about it saying, "I think my goddamned message speaks for itself!"
TMZ.com leaked the three-minute message on the Internet Thursday after Baldwin's visitation rights for his daughter Ireland were temporarily suspended by a California judge. In the taped rant, the actor blasted his daughter for failing to pick up her phone when he called her from New York at a designated time.
But the 49-year-old actor explained himself Friday on his Web site: "Although I have been told by numerous people who better keep their goddamned yaps shuts not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their stupid asshole kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child," he wrote. "Especially my bitch of a daughter. I'm sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my little asshole. I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years now. You have to go through this to understand. (Although I hope you never do.) I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated, which had deliberately been put under seal in this case.
Bitches.
