Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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All the quim that's fit to
poke
[ Full Review ]








04.11.07
STREET WHORES, CRACK WHORES, MEDIA WHORES: WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE?!?! OUTSIDE OF DEAD ANNA NICOLE SMITH'S PATERNITY SUIT RIDDLE SOLVED: FATHER OF THE MULTIMILLION DOLLAR, BABY? WELL IT AIN'T THE JEW LAWYER. BUT HE COULDN'T HELP HIMSELF.

this is a re-run of a previously run issue of SkullGame. Why? Because we're in Europe. Fighting the war against, um, you know...


SKULLGAME SLATTERNS ON PARADE!!! WIN CASH, PRIZES, EVERLASTING SHAME!!!

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"MY NAME IS COURTNEY LOVE....AND I AM A WHOREAHOLIC."



SHE HAD ONE LAST CHANCE! AND SHE BLEW IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Multimillionaire Murderess COURTNEY LOVE, heedless of the fact that all the rest of us have long left the building, continues her minstrel show of grossly desperate behaviors in the hopes that she will "make you look."

First flashing her surgically slapdashed knobs at DAVID LETTERMAN, then moving onto throwing a mic stand and injuring a disinterested bystander at an area nightclub, and finally closing out with her arrest for reckless endangerment and third-degree assault for throwing aforementioned mic stand and striking a man in the head, Love wanted it known beyond any shadow of doubt that she "just doesn't get it."

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I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP MR. DEMILLE

"We are presently investigating the charges," Love spokeswoman Jill Fritzo said in an e-mailed statement. "Especially if by 'investigating' you mean getting really, really high, staying high, and eating Doritos."

Love's television "appearance" was just the latest "bizarre" incident involving the "entertainer" over the last year.

She was arrested in October after allegedly trying to break into the Los Angeles home of a former boyfriend. Police later called to her home allegedly found painkillers when Love was taken to a treatment center for a drug overdose.

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SEPARATED AT BIRTH? HOUSTON AND LOVE HAVE NEVER BEEN PHOTOGRAPHED TOGETHER

She has been charged with two felony counts of possession of controlled substances. She also faces misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and being under the influence of a controlled substance.

DULY RENDERED SKULLGAME JUDGMENT: MEDIA WHORE NON PAREIL! SENTENCE: CONTINUED PUBLIC DISINTEREST



JACKSONGATE: THE TIT THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SUBCOMMITTEE INVESTIGATIONS

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I AM SO MISUNDERSTOOD. SOOOOO MISUNDERSTOOD. AND RICH. SOOOOOO RICH. IN FACT I AM RICH AND MISUNDERSTOOD AND MY SORROW IS FATHOMLESS. AND RICH.

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- "Wherever there's a little guy getting the shaft from a big guy...I'll be there. Wherever there's a kid getting pushed around by a bigger kid...I'll be there. Wherever a rich and beautiful woman with fake tits and more money than God is exposing her breasts while enduring the agonies of the damned regarding having showed aforementioned knobs to all of America at the fucking Superbowl...I'll be there. In the bushes. With my Pentax SL 5 GameHunter. I'll be there for YOU."--Tom Joad

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"OH HERE'S MY TWISTED SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT. RIGHT HERE WHERE I LEFT IT."

DULY RENDERED SKULLGAME JUDGMENT: STREET WHORE!
SENTENCE: A LIFETIME OF ACIDIC RIDICULE.



FIVE EASY PIECES WITH: DOLORIAN!!!!

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I AM NAMED AFTER A DEFUNCT CAR OWNED BY AN IMPRISONED COKEHEAD: NUFF SAID

SkullGame: Who in the industry do you like working with?

DOLORIAN: Oh thatís a hard questionÖ I like working with JACK NAPIER, Kurt Loughwood, and thatís it so farÖ

SG: Well, RANDY WEST just told us that his most memorable scene was working with you. So you can see how goddamned surprised we would be that you didnít mention him.

D: Oh. Randy is awesome.

SG: Itís okay if you donít like him

D: No. As far as being the best of the best he is it.

SG: How long do you plan to be in the business: we mean will you bow out gracefully or take it all the way to the gate, making guest appearances at the Bunny Ranch or Massage Parlors and the like?

D: I donít know. I am going to ride it as far as it takes me. Whether it be next year, or three or four years from now it just depends; I kind of go where the wind takes me.

SG: So now this question is a bit philosophical and will require some introspectionÖ

D: Who?

SG: What?

D: Intro what?

SG: What are you talking about?

D: I donít know, you asked a question.

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I'D LIKE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION BY SAYING "OMMGGHHPH!"

SG: Iím not quite sure what just happened. This question will be a bit philosophical. OK, what is funnier: a monkey orÖ a midget in a tuxedo?

D: I would have to say a monkey in a tuxedo. You see a midget youíre just like: Oh. A monkey in a tuxedo walks by, you're like: Tee hee heeÖ

SG: Say, how much would they have to pay you to make a movie with me?

D: [laughing and looking at STEELY ROB appraisingly] One thousand dollars, standard rate. You are special but not special enough to drop my rate for.

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IF YOU NOTICED HER BRACES, WELL THAT'S FINE. IF YOU NOTICED STEELY ROB'S NUTSACK AND HOW PAINSTAKINGLY SHAVEN IT IS, WE STRONGLY QUESTION YOUR COMMITMENT TO CUNT

SG: Fuck it one more question, break format here. What would you rather have: a maxed out VisaÖ or a Meth Habit?

D: Oh my god. Maxed out Visa. I donít want any Meth habit.

SG: Why? Think about all the shit you can get done. Itís the gift that keeps on giving.

D: No way, I donít need that. Your skin gets all messed up, your teeth fall out and your hair gets all ratty.

SG: So itís a purely aesthetic decision?

D: What?

SG: What?

D: That word you used?

SG: Word?

DULY RENDERED SKULLGAME JUDGMENT: CRACK WHORE, OF COURSE.

SENTENCE: SHE SHALL BE REMANDED TO OUR CHAMBERS UNTIL SUCH TIME AS OUR BALLS ARE DRAINED


 


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