WE JOKE at SkullGame but sometimes it's time to stop fucking joking and time to get you to open your GODDAMNED WALLETS!!! On the rare occasion of something really rather REAL. That is, SkullGame known associate EUGENE ROBINSON's new book
FIGHT: OR, EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ASS-KICKING BUT WERE AFRAID YOU'D GET YOUR ASS KICKED FOR ASKING...
While it's not out until the Fall, your pre-order of aforementioned book is not only NOT charged to you until it ships but it gets Robinson a real motherfucking marketing budget which, if history is any indicator, he will use to market his book to prostitutes and people who sell drugs. TO prostitutes.
Do we have to come right out and say it? BUY THIS FUCKING THING. We mean, those of you with credit cards. Not your own. Thank you.
SCOTT WEILAND'S WIFE WAKES UP TO THE SAD FACT OF THE MATTER THAT SHE'S SCOTT WIELAND'S WIFE, GOES WILD.
"CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT?!?!?"
BURBANK (SkullGame) -- Rocker SCOTT WEILAND's model wife Mary has blamed an imbalance in medications used to treat her bipolar disorder for events that made headlines over the weekend. Well, that and the realization that she was married to punchline Scott Weiland.
Mary Weiland was arrested on arson charges late on Saturday after she was spotted burning her husband's clothing outside the couple's Toluca Lake, Calif., home in a vain effort to make him, "almost anyone else other than Scott Weiland."
Earlier that evening, Mary trashed a Burbank, Calif., hotel suite after a reported fight with the Velvet Revolver frontman. In a statement, Mary explains, "It's important to my husband and I that the reports ... contain facts and not speculation. Reports that we were fighting at the Graciela Hotel are untrue. Scott was simply trying to help calm me down and explain to me that while he was not AXL ROSE, he also was not STEPHEN JENKINS. I want to make it very clear that he did not hurt me in any way. Outside of the very fact of his existence. For lack of a better expression, I was unstable and just 'lost it,' when I realized what a goddamned colossal error I had made.
Fuck."
AND from fucking HUMP day...
ANOTHER INSTALLATION IN SKULLGAME "BAD DAY FOR BOOBS" ISSUE: ANNA NICOLE SMITH AUTOPSY REVEALS EVERY DRUG KNOWN TO MAN "ACCIDENTALLY" CONSUMED ON PURPOSE. PLUS: MARCIA BRADY'S CHUFFING OF CHOAD, MARCH FUCKING MADNESS & MAD MAXNESSES JEW MANIA
NEWSFLASH: ANNA NICOLE SMITH AUTOPSY REVEALS: NOTHING YOU'RE GONNA BE TOO SURPRISED ABOUT...
IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A WH-ITE WED-DING...IT'S A NICE DAY TO GET HIGH, FALL DOWN & START AGAIN!!!
FLORIDA (SkullGame) -- Model ANNA NICOLE SMITH's tits died of an accidental drug overdose, according to Florida police.
The 39-year-old's tits were found dead in her suite at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Fla., on February 8. Seminole Tribe Police Chief Charlie Tiger and Broward County Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Joshua Perper announced results of the model's tit's autopsy in Dania, Fla., Monday morning, saying the breasts died of an "accidental" "overdose" of the "sleep" "medicine" chloral hydrate and "other" "prescription" "drugs."
Tiger, himself high on the firewater, said there was nothing to indicate foul play in her tit's death and the case was now closed. "Hic."
He added he had searched numerous medical records and studied numerous bottles of medication in her possession, including Methadone, anti-anxiety, anti-depression, anti-weight, anti-upsetting news, anti-notice-of-present-punchline-status medication.
Meanwhile, Smith's partner Howard K. Stern, ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead and Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt are submitting DNA tests to determine which man is the father of the model's six-month-old baby Dannielynn's bags of money.
AND from earlier in the week....
SKULLGAME'S MARCH MADNESS CONTINUES WITH BALLOONS OF HEROIN, CRACK COCAINE & SEMEN-STAINED CHAIR AT A VEGAS SPORTS BOOK WHILE MEL GIBSON GOES MEL GIBSON ON "SOME SPIC" NOT ALBERTO GONZALEZ & MARCIA BRADY A SLUT? WE HOPE SO & DIDDY SON'S LAP DANCE!
THIS chemically irregular variation on SkullGame dot fucking com is being brought to you by JIMMY & RAY downstairs who in a burst of meth-level thinking spent their entire weekend filming a polaroided porn featuring all the characters from Star Wars with the understanding founded on communications from the Planet Zebulon that because we were a porn review site we'd be glad to review their porn. And we maintain, as always, that SkullGame is a reader contributed site so forthwith Jimmy & Ray's masterstroke of speed-fueled genius.
JESUS CHRIST. HAS IT EVER BEEN MORE CLEAR THAN NOW THAT ONLY DOPES DO DOPE?
"FUCK OFF YOU DIRTY SPIC JEW." MEL GIBSON CLAIMS OUTBURST WAS PRODUCT OF NEW ROLE HE'S READYING. DIRTY SPIC JEWS NOT SO SURE.
THE MEL GIBSON SYMPOSIUM ON SEMITES VEERED, PREDICTABLY, A LITTLE BIT, ER, OFF TRACK.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- MEL GIBSON has been caught up in a new controversy after telling a Central American Studies professor to "fuck off, you dirty spic Jew cunt, you" during a tense press conference.
The movie mogul and Jew hater of some small renown, who made headlines last summer for anti-Semitic comments about shekels, parasitism and the loathesome nature of INTERNATIONAL JEWRY he made during a drunk driving arrest, was addressing a film class at Cal State University at Northridge Thursday night on something what had nothing to do with no Jews when out of nowhere he was attacked by the Jew professor questioning the accuracy of this actual "White Man's" Apocalypto film.
Alicia Estrada asked Gibson if he had read about the Mayan culture before shooting the controversial film, suggesting that some of the bloodthirsty, sacrificial scenes in the film were both wrong and racist. Then, according to TMZ.com, Gibson suddenly exploded in riotous anti-Jew anger, responding, "Lady, if that's what we call filthy bloodsuckers of the people like you these days, fuck off. You think that Jew Darryl Zanuck ever went to Egypt before he ever made that movie about Gunga Din?!?!?"
Gibson also became angry when he mistook members of the Mayan community protesting on how they were portrayed in the film during the lecture for Jews. They were subsequently escorted out of the room. All three of them who are left and who are all named Ramon and were on lunchbreak from their busboy jobs at Chiles.
MARCIA BRADY A COKEHEADED COCKSUCKER? EXACTLY.
IT WAS A STORY...OF A SLUT NAMED BRADY...
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Beloved and much-masturbated over 1970s TV staple Maureen McCormick, also known as MARCIA BRADY, has stunned fans by confessing she secretly battled cocaine abuse, cock addiction and anorexia at the height of her post-teen fame.
The actress, who played wholesome Marcia Brady on The Brady Bunch, has revealed in a new magazine article she spent a decade hiding her demons from friends and fans whose purses and medicine cabinets she routinely raided for greenies, goofballs and downers.
A former boyfriend turned the teenage McCormick, now 50, and well beyond the age when anybody else gives a fuck whether she lives or dies, onto cocaine. And cock.
She says, "He was friends with people who did drugs. And had cocks. I have a very addictive personality. I know that now."
The stretch-mouthed McCormick admits years of therapy and her faith in high grade pharmaceuticals helped her kick her cocaine habit and adopt a healthier full-cock lifestyle. She says, "Being able to quit drugs and finding belief in the higher power of cock gave me the tools to end the bulimia. It's rare for me now to not swallow just about everything I put in my mouth these days."
P. DIDDY, DESPITE BEING A NIGRA, PERHAPS GRANDEST FATHER OF THE YEAR BY SKULLGAME'S LIGHTS
"HERE SON, HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY. HERE'S A SLUT."
