Yo Vinnie,
My girl's first sex experience was a date rape. That involved sodomy. We've been together a few years and trust is not an issue but she thinks she wants to try it as part of what we do. It just feels kind of weird to me. Should I talk to her about it? Could I without reintroducing the rape thing as an issue? -- Don't Know (by email)

WELLLLLLLLLLL BEYOND READY: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE.

Dear POOR SAD S.O.B.: God. YOU are fucked up. Seriously. FUCKED. U. P. You have an actual and serious question about something sort of actual and serious and you're writing ME?!?!? Why don't you just ask the next random drunk you see that's not you. You're just as likely to get an answer as serviceable as the answer I'm going to give. BUT the fact that you HAVE asked me seems a sure sign this is a double cry for help. You are fucked up and as evidence that you are fucked up you are writing me.

OK. Glad I got that figured out. Now on to your problem: ass fucking a rape victim who was ass fucked when she was raped.

Tough one. One that I, myself, had the occasion to be facing a while back. Her first sexual experience was a date rape that lasted a weekend when she was 16. How did I deal with the potentially sticky wicket of ass fucking someone who had been ass fucked by a rapist?

Well I fucked her in the ass first chance I got.

Neither asking. Nor being especially brutal about it. You see, what fucked her up about the rape was its lack of consensuality and the rapist's clear lack of concern for her well being. Well, I am no rapist, would have stopped if she had asked and if it had hurt any more than usual I'd have spit in my fist and lubed it again before heading back to the job at hand.

The point is: sometimes someone wanting you to fuck their ass is just someone wanting you to fuck their ass. Sure, sometimes its a playing out of a terrible trauma but we even sometimes play out our traumas as a way to rehab ourselves and so given that you ARE NOT A RAPIST you realistically have no concern especially in the total absence of HER concern.

So ass fuck away guiltlessly my friend. You heard it here first.