Yo Vinnie,
I'm a female reader of your site. And despite your frequent flippant tone I've found your advice sound and now that I finally have a problem worth writing about, it seems your sound advice would be welcome. Here it is. How do I get my man to get comfortable with rough sex? I've recently discovered, or maybe I just always knew but just recently have felt comfortable acknowledging it to be so, that what I like is to be dominated. Maybe it was being in a committed four year relationship, I don't know. But while it took me a long time to even bring it up, it seems like it's taking even longer for him to get comfortable with it. Is there something I can do to encourage him to be more dominant with being domineering? -- Kari (by email)

OK...YOU GOT IT?

Dear Do As I Say: So what? So you're a FEMALE READER of our site? So, what the fucks that supposed to mean?!?! Like somebody died and made you the Queen of all fucking female readers or something? Like you somehow are fucking super cool because you read SkullGame AND you have a VAGINA? Well, I got news for you, Owner of a Vagina you: we got LOTS of female readers. Lots of bitches like SkullGame. They write me all the time and they say, um, well...well, they say....well who gives a fuck what they say? Like I gotta prove something to YOU? Listen, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to use your IP address, figure out who you are, show up at your house, throw you on the bed, hang your head over the side, fuck your throat until you can't breathe and slap your face between spitting in your mouth.

How's that sound?

Pretty good I bet. And that's my point Kari: there are a few things that YOU, the affected partner will never be able to do without permanently altering the delicate fuckosphere of your relationship. YOU can't be the one to teach him how to DANCE. YOU can't be the one to teach him to stand up to his mother. And YOU can't be the one to get him to man up and treat you the way we're going to do when we show up at your house next week.

UNLESS...and this is a BIG unless: unless you manipulate him into rage fucking you. How? The most direct way to do this, to get his fucking Irish up? Well, you know this milquetoast better than we do, but I'd, and keep in mind I'm NO kind of professional, I'd suggest cuckolding him. Maybe next week. This might force him into a slapping, spitting, throat fucking rage.

OR it might make him just lie down and whimper. A lot.

It's a big risk but one that's worth taking because it's YOUR sex life and life is fucking short, you bitch, you.