Yo Vinnie,
How much of a rape fantasy is too much of a rape fantasy? She tells me she has one. Makes a big deal out of having one. Then when I get close she backs off. Oh I GET IT. She wants me to PUSH the issue but I don't know her well enough to not reasonably suspect that this is some sort of thing that might bite my ass. Suggestions for safeguards. PLEASE. -- SoEndsValentine, (by email)

THIS MAY NOT END WELL FOR "BOB."

Dear FRIEND of TYSON: Oh man. Oh man. The usual safeguards -- filming said scene to save for future litigation, web sales or to laugh at with your friends -- won't work here since what will be shown in court -- a video of her screaming "no, no...." will cook your fucking goose faster than you can say DICK CHENEY. Getting her to sign some sort of affidavit, while procedurally sound, takes all the romance out of a rape fantasy and probably won't work anyway in the age of "No Always Means NO" since she could always say, "while I agreed to the face fucking, I NEVER agreed to the ass plunging. Which he did your honor. Like his name was KOBE BRYANT."

So where does that leave YOU?

Either doing a 100-foot cliff dive into ass rape stupidity and taking a CHANCE that she's not a lunatic nor a vengeful harpy OR just letting this one pass on by.

Which you choose depends on a lot: how much money you have [which can either mean you have more to LOSE or alternatively, you have more to SPEND to keep yourself out of the pen], how much she secretly hates you, how much you know about her and the likelihood that you can ply the plausible deniability defense [no seed left behind, no marks and a decent fucking alibi].

So choose wisely and try not to blame me when it all blows up in your fucking face as I am most certain it fucking will because I mean there IS a proper way to initiate the whole "I have a fantasy" discussion, and that's USUALLY after you've already fucked someone. She ain't done that and resultingly I smell some rotten cheese. Do what youse would with all that.