AND to sing the National Anthem JESSICA SIMPLETON does it like it has not been done before.
"HEY BUBBLEHEAD, WE GOT IT ALREADY...NOW WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF SITTING AROUND HERE ALL DAY WAITING FOR ME TO FUCK YOU?"
AND because you, who buy our shit, fucking deserve it, for buying our shit, our FIRST sale ever if you buy more shit... 
Buy That Shit NOW & Until November 6th!
A SKULLGAME SPOT QUIZ: WHAT DO YOU CALL A WHORE NAMED SARAH GIDICK WHO WON'T FUCK MEXICANS OR NEGROES?
"I'M NOT A WHORE...I'M JUST A 25, ER, UH 21 YEAR OLD 'COLLEGE' 'STUDENT'. IF I WAS A WHORE WELL, OF COURSE, I'D FUCK THEM. BUT I AM NOT A WHORE. I JUST TAKE MONEY FOR SEX."
SAN DIEGO (SkullGame) -- Republican SARAH GIDICK [dc22201@hotmail.com] will fuck men for money as long as they're not BLACK BASTARDS or MEXICAN GREASERS.
The SKULLGAME Spot Quiz:
IS She or IS SHE NOT a WHORE? Or perhaps she's more of a SLUT?
Voting at VINNIE@SKULLGAME.COM is open until Election Day. MAKE YOURSELF HEARD AMERICA!!!
AND ON A RELATED NOTE: NEGRO VOLUNTEERS TO FUCK WOMEN, FIGHT WOMEN...FOR CASH.
ATTORNEY IRON MICHAEL TYSONWITZ AT A PRESSER DETAILING HIS GIVING UP THE LAW FOR OPPORTUNITES TO FUCK, FIGHT...MOSTLY BROADS.
STRONGSVILLE, OHIO (SkullGame) -- Attorney IRON MIKE TYSONWITZ, leaving behind his avid defense of a wide variety of ass bandits, most notably white woman warrior KOBE BRYANT, and his general love of the law, is now proposing a return to ass banditry in both the bedroom and squared room to...wait for it...fuck broads AND fight broads.
Encouraged by meth madam HEIDI FLEISS to apply for work on her stud farm in rural Nevada, Tysonwitz is glad to be working with another Jew again. Fleiss says "I said to him, 'You going to be my stud?' And he said, 'Heidi I don't care what any man says about how your skin resembles long gone bacon: It's every man's dream to please every woman no matter how old, how young, how fat, how pretty, how ugly, it's every man's dream to please every woman and especially get paid for it. Especially if by IT you mean his LOAD' And, he goes, 'Hell yeah, I'll be your number one stud.' Don't ever underestimate Mike Tysonwitz. He is a genius and he can be very, very stupid. Like me."
Not to be undone, Tysonwitz has also proposed a return to the ring with professional boxer Ann Wolfe, who is 21-1 with 15 knockouts.
"She's such a prominent, dominant woman in the boxing field," Tysonwitz said. "I should, maybe, almost, sort of, kinda be able to beat her. Failing that I will make sweet love to her. About this I'm very serious."
Russ Young, a promoter for Wolfe, said "That's the first we've heard of it. No state would sanction that. She would be outweighed by 60 to 70 pounds. Ann would never entertain the idea."
The 40-year-old former heavyweight champ launches "Mike Tysonwitz's World Tour" on Friday in Youngstown, Ohio.
DANCING WITH THE STARS' STARS NOT SO GAY, SARA EVANS DISCOVERS SHOCKINGLY
"HE WANTED TO...SNIFF, SNIFF...PUT HIS YOU KNOW WHAT...ON MY YOU KNOW WHERE..." SARA EVANS, RIGHT BEFORE WE ASK HER TO TELL US AGAIN, WHAT EXACTLY HER HUSBAND DID & WHERE. WHILE WE LOOK DOWN HER SHIRT WHILE ONLY HALF LISTENING ANYWAY.
TENNESSEE (SkullGame) -- Country music singer and former Dancing with the Stars contestant SARA EVANS has accused her estranged husband Craig Schelske of adultery, of the penile kind, and abuse, of the penile variety. Evans' representative released a surprise statement saying the singer had decided to leave the popular reality show "to give her family her full attention at this difficult time of jiz and jiz-esque discovery."
Evans filed divorce papers in Williamson County, Tenn., the same day she left the competition. She cites adultery as the grounds for divorce, along with irreconcilable differences and inappropriate marital conduct. The couple married in 1993 and have three children ranging in age from 2 to 7.
In the papers, obtained by Entertainment Tonight, Evans alleges that Schelske has been storing personal ads looking for sexy sex sex from an online Web site on his personal computer. She also states that he "maintains many pornographic photographs of himself and his penis", along with photographs showing him having sex penis with other women, despite having had several appearances on a gay dancing show.
The star also alleges verbal abuse, harassment, excessive consumption of alcohol and adultery. Things we had no idea were anything other than attributes. Evans will address her departure to "Dancing with the Stars" fans on the October 17 live telecast, which will likely be her final appearance on the show. Evans lawyer tells Entertainment Tonight, "Under the circumstances, Sara had no other choice (but to file for divorce).
Bitch."
DON JOHNSON FUCKS 19-YEAR-OLD PORN SLUT WHILE WIFE & THREE KIDS HIGH FIVE HIM
IF SHE IS, INDEED, NOT A MAN [CHECK THE SHOULDER], SOFIA GUCCI IS DEFINITELY HIGH-FIVABLE WHAT FOR THE FUCKING AND ALL.
TRANI, ITALY (SkullGame) -- Former "Miami Vice" star Don Johnson has been fucking the living shit out of his teen co-star in Italy just months after his wife gave birth to their third child, according to media reports from ITALIAN SAL'S cugino CARMINE.
Johnson has been in Trani, southern Italy filming the incongruously named Bastardi with "19"-"year"-"old" "porn" "star" "Sofia Gucci" and the "romance" has reportedly moved off the set. The couple were spotted strolling hand-in-hand around the city on September 27 before heading back to Gucci's hotel room where they spent two hours fucking in several different positions before emerging for a romantic dinner of sausages and donuts.
Gucci's "personal manager", who would only identify himself as "Paolo", confirmed the relationship saying the couple "did go out for dinner together and they were intimate, cockwise. Sofia told me to say 'they spent a wonderful few days together. Not fucking, much, or nothing.' She does know that Don is married, but if what he says is 'true' his wife is 'frigid' and 'don' understan' him'."
Gucci has a pornography past, appearing in steamy adult films such as "Dirty Dance" and "Hot Dreams." She has also appeared nude on the cover of European magazines.
The five-times married Johnson and current wife, Kelley Phleger, have three children together. Their youngest, Deacon James, was born in April.
"Perfect," says Vinnie Rose.
FROM the SkullGame Brainstorm File: "OK. How's 'bout THIS: a Match.com for Axis power members, neo-nazis and wily Japs? We call it WhiteManRiseUp.com and make a MINT? Hunh? Hunh? Think about it. It's got fucking potential...." JIMMY THE G makes an unsolicited appearance as a result of having figured out how to use his digital camera.
"HEIR HITRER!!!"
RICH FRANKLIN? GAY?
VERY POSSIBLY. YES.
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- He came, he saw, he got knocked the fuck out in the 1st round.
A JUDGE ROY BEAN REPORT: STEVE LYONS FIRED FOR RACIALLY PROVOCATIVE ON-AIR COMMENT. “BUT THEY DO STEAL,” LYONS RETORTS, “CASE IN POINT: WHAT DID THE MEXICAN GET FOR CHRISTMAS? YOUR BIKE! WHAT?”
STEVE LYONS COMMENTS ON ALLEGATIONS OF RACISM AT AN OCT. 13TH PRESS CONFERENCE: “SPRAYPAINT CANNOT BE MADE TO SIGN A LEGALLY BINDING DOCUMENT, Y’KNOW? SAY, WHAT DO YOU CALL A LAWYER WITHOUT A MEXICAN. UNEMPLOYED! WHAT?”
DETROIT (SkullGame)—Infamous Fox baseball broadcasting bigot Steve Lyons has reportedly been fired for what the network claims was a “racially insensitive comment” aimed at on-air colleague Lou Pinella during the third game of the AL championship series.
Piniella, during the second inning of the Detroit/Oakland game Friday, drew an analogy between Marco Scutaro’s hitting success and “finding a wallet on Friday,” claiming that Oakland’s Frank Thomas needed to get “en fuego” in order to win the game, to which Lyons replied ”Funny I can't find my wallet. Say, Lou, why do Mexicans wear sombreros? So they can have a place to store their tacos when they are stealing your hubcaps! What?”
A visibly distraught Piniella, who immediately began reprimanding the on-air personality, was met with a hand-wave before Lyons stated, "I don't understand him, and I don't want to sit too close to him now. Say, why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day in Mexico? Because they don’t want to wear out the burro! What?”
“I was just kidding”, Lyons claimed shortly thereafter. “Say, why were there only 3000 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had 4 cars! What?”
According to Fox, this was not Lyons’ first racist offense. A spokesman for the network told SkullGame reporters that Lyons was suspended in 2004 for a remark about the Los Angeles Dodgers' Shawn Green after Green opted out of a game scheduled against the San Francisco Giants on Yom Kippur.
“Say, how do you tell a Mexican girl from a Jewish girl,” Lyons asked Fox viewers, “The Mexican’s jewelry is fake, but her orgasms are real! What?”
Lyons also allegedly pulled his pants down on air during his fielding days with the Boston Red Sox. When questioned by reporters immediately following the incident, the 1981 first-round draft pick said “It just felt like the most appropriate form of celebration. Say, how do you get a Mexican woman pregnant? Jerk off in her shoes and let the flies do the rest! What?”
STAY THE COURSE IN IRAQ? REPUBLICAN-LED PANEL SAYS, "WHAT THE FUCK FOR? WE CAN FUCK TEENAGERS JUST AS WELL OVER HERE."
YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT IT DOES. ALL EXCEPT MY BILLIONS & BILLIONS OF U.S. DOLLARS. NOW THAT I BRING BACK HOME.
WASHINGTON (SkullGame) — A commission backed by President Bush that is exploring U.S. options in Iraq intends to propose "significant fucking changes" in the administration's strategy by early next year, members say.
Two options under consideration would represent reversals of U.S. policy: withdrawing American troops in fast moving vehicles, preferably Porsche 928s, as well as bringing neighboring Iran and Syria into a joint effort to catch a few nuclear missiles that we understand they've been asking for. While it weighs alternatives, the 10-member commission headed by former Secretary of State James A. Baker III has agreed on one principle.
"It's sure as fucking shit is not going to be 'stay the course,' " one participant said. "Bush has REALLY fucked this up. LeMay's spinning in his grave right about now. But the bottom line is, [current U.S. policy] is working about as well as the average white man in the manufacturing sector.... There's just got to be another goddamned way."
It's unclear how willing Bush is to change his strategy, however, which presently focuses on improving security in Baghdad, mountain biking, fishing for perch, training Iraqi security forces to count by 100 and pressing the Iraqi government to forge a political agreement among warring factions. And shit.
P. DIDDY: "JENNIFER LOPEZ? REFRESH MY MEMORY."
"UM...ONE OF THESE BROADS? BOTH? GIMME A CLUE: THE ONE WITH NO PANTIES. YOU KNOW HOW MANY I MEET WITH NO PANTIES?!?!" DIDDY ON MEMORY LANE.
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Rap mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs insists he was never in love with ex-girlfriend JENNIFER LOPEZ -- because he has always loved current partner Kim Porter, whoever she might be.
The Latina beauty fell for Combs in 1999 after splitting from her first husband Ojani Noa, while the rapper had ended his relationship with model Porter, who gave birth to their son Christian in 1996. Porter successfully sued Combs for an increase in child support in 2001, but the couple managed to put their financial issues aside to find love again under the "Cheaper To Keep Her" statute in 2003 -- and the former model is now pregnant with twins.
In reflection, Combs admits his relationship with Lopez, whoever she might be, wasn't the great love affair of his life.
He says, "When I was with...who were we talking about again? Oh, me? Yeahhhh...."
