AND from our line of SkullGame "originals" comes yet another in the best inspirational posters your $19.95, allowing two weeks for delivery, can buy. This one is brought to you by our Editor at Large CORNHOLIO and features his cousin JuneBug whose sage asides regarding "bitches" puts him in the front running of people who we're willing to listen to for advice when it comes to "bitches." And shit.
"YOU GET IN THOSE BITCHES HEADS, BEFORE YOU GET IN THOSE BITCHES BEDS."
DETROIT DOWNS THE YANKS, STEINBRENNER SO HAPPY HE RUNS OVER TO ZOO & STRANGLES AN ORANGUTANG WITH HIS BARE HANDS. A-ROD REPORTED TO BE NEXT, REPORTS ITALIAN SAL PACINO'S COUSIN MATTY
JASON GIAMBI GETTING HIS KNOCKS THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW.
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- At the conclusion of the Detroit-Yankees playoff series, a clearly enraptured George Steinbrenner bolted the House that Babe built and headed south to the zoo that Laguardia built and working his way, crowbar first, into the primates enclosure he was seen there to bare-handedly strangle a 17-year old sub-Saharan Orangutang. The celebratory outburst, a direct result of being shut out of the big one since 2000, will have reverberations through the league as out-of-the-running managers and owners, even a few who are not Jews, will asphyxiate a variety of mammalian life forms to show their personal level of excitement at being able to watch the rest of the season unfold on TV like everyone else in America.
According to Steinbrenner, "nothing made me happier than paying that under-performing prick spic a quarter of a billion dollars a year so he could bat 8th in the line....could you pass me that meerkat, please?"
In further developments, it should be known to Sal's ex's new boyfriend JACK that his NEW girlfriend, screen name Cassandra, likes gangbangs.
TERRELL OWENS & DONOVAN McNABB. ALONE AGAIN. NATURALLY.
HEEEEEEEYYYYYY....WE AIN'T SAYING NUTTIN'...NOPE. NUTTIN' AT ALL ABOUT T.O. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE GUY IN THE PREVIOUS PHOTO HELPING GIAMBI. NUTTIN'...AT...ALL...
PHILADELPHIA (SkullGame) -- Suicidal, homosexual-idal TERRELL OWENS braved the boos, the pelting with prescription bottles, the burning in effigy of a 81-jerseyed likeness, and stadium wide chants of "fuck you NIGGA..." as the Eagles either stomped or got stomped by Dallas [we was in the parking lot scoring some weed and missed the game in its entirety].
“I’m probably the most hated guy coming into Philly this weekend, so I expect the worst,” Owens said. “I expect to have to pay full price at The End Up. No more comped drinks at The White Swallow. No more VIP treatment at Cuffs as I continue my search for everything gay in our league which I will root out with extreme prejudice. But that’s how passionate they are. When I was there, they were loving me while I loved McNabb. Now that I’m on the opposite side, and the thing with Donovan is something we're hoping that the public respects our privacy over, well, they’re going to be hating me. I expect that going in.”
Both Owens and McNabb took thinly veiled shots at each other last week, but neither made outrageous comments as in the past. McNabb even said he reached out to Owens last week by sending a text message to offer prayers and support after Owens’s "hospital" "trip" was "reported" as an "attempted" "suicide."
In further developments, in addition to Philadelphia winning 38 to 24, it should be noted that Sal would like his ex's new boyfriend JACK to know that his NEW girlfriend, Sal's ex, likes gangbangs.
MR. XTRA REPORTS SOCIALITE PARIS HILTON ARRESTED FOR BEING OVER THE COMBINED ALCOHOL, SEMEN LIMIT
PARIS AND NICKY HILTON DOING THAT WHICH COMES NATURALLY.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) — Serial whore PARIS HILTON has been arrested for "a lil...drinkle-driving" in Hollywood after being stopped by police for driving erratically. A situation not helped by the Mexican valet nuzzled between her legs.
The "hotel" "heiress" was pulled over by police and booked at the Los Angeles Police Department’s Hollywood Station. The "star" — who claims she had only had “one margarita...or nine” — was charged after she recorded 0.8 percent on a blood alcohol test, which is the maximum level for driving under the influence under Californian law.
The ho heiress told a US radio show that the fruity cocktail, and the fact that she hadn’t eaten all day, apart from 10 pints of semen, may have pushed her over the limit.
Hilton was held in cells until 2am when she was released into the care of her sister Nicky Hilton, her publicist Eliot “It’s All Money To Me” Mintz and Nicky’s opportunist homosexual boyfriend, Entourage star Kevin Connolly.
Mintz later said Hilton went home and went to bed, regretted the arrest and shit, but had not decided if she would contest the allegation until her lawyers had fleeced her of more cash.
He defended her actions, saying, it was simply the result of “one drink on an empty stomach, plus 10 pints of semen, after a full day’s work, pumping semen” adding that “we don’t take lightly matters of this nature. Yup.”
