Evil Angel

Rating: FOUR "2 Breath Mints In One" BUSTED NUTS

One always gets so excited at double DVDs.

I mean of course you jam Disc 2 in first because surely that's where you will see the stars coked off their head being forced to down the entire crew's collection of personal cock before being sprayed with olive oil and photographed boning various rock celebrities who got lost around 1989. I guess I'm just keen to see AXL ROSE doing anything, I admit it.

"WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, BABY!!!" TIFFANY RAYNE DOING HER BEST AXL ROSE IMITATION.

But don't be fooled: put Disc 1 in first and like most double DVDs use Disc 2 to return your girlfriend's copy of Beaches to the local Blockbuster. Woops. These four scenarios are pretty good. I was forced to play most of them in real time for a change and was genuinely surprised at the demented display of frothy cock munching and fucking that emanated from my screen. To top it off the first two scenes are filmed in a gigantic house designed by Escher himself and I was quite sure I caught a glimpse of him catching a quick appointment with Captain Hand as two supposed property buyers somehow persuaded a black woman with Carl Lewis' body to show them the various delights of all the rooms in the house.

The first scene was a little strange as I was sure I had met the star earlier in the day at a cafe where she was selling Amway.

In this scene she does a terrific job of persuading her 'husband' that she is a 'slut' then proceeds to have her face furiously punctured with the penis of that group of 7 guys that always appear like magic, fully erect, in Indian file, from frame right, with all the enthusiasm of a funeral procession.

Are they a boy band grown up?

Who are they? They would make a great subject for a documentary on Disc 2, 'Meet the 7 Dudes'. We could meet their wives, go to their BBQs and, of course, see their secret rehearsals where they draw straws to see who plays 'the girl.' Of course the Amway girl does the kneel and the guys get into cooking program mode and knead a layer of cream from their personal file before scuttling off to the next mansion where Beryl and Ramona are almost ready to come face to face with their esteemed lower halves.

Overall, this was good stuff, although sometimes the amount of time spent on one position sometimes allowed me to make a pretty decent Peking Duck before the next 'turn'. Although I think they were just enjoying themselves, or holding back because the 7 Dudes were caught in a traffic jam and were going to be 35 minutes late. Or something. -- MIKE HUNT, ESQ.

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