BUT first, before we forget....MR. XTRA'S FIGHT REPORTAGE.......
....LIVE FROM ETK FIGHT NIGHT, AUCKLAND, JUNE
MMA came to Auckland (again) with two bouts on an otherwise all-kickboxing card. Some manic stoushes on that, but it was the MMA that had the crowd stomping. With rules set to minimize grappling and big men in the ring, KO's were more likely than PARIS HILTON having her tits out in public right now.
And KO's we got!
SAM STRIKER bt PETER LEAITUA by round 1 KO
Straight punches from Leaitua sent Striker crashing through the ropes in the opening seconds. Striker recovered, took Leaitua to ground a few times, and with Leaitua in an off-balance crouch, connected with a knee to the temple. Big thud that reverberated through the packed to-fire-capacity venue. Leaitua out cold.
BILLY SCANLON bt HIRIWA TE RANGI by round 2 KO
Te Rangi prepared for this fight by being on the receiving end of a Shane Cameron KO the previous week in a heavyweight boxing bout. And he duly copped another one here from big, bad Billy Scanlon; who probably got Senior Citizen entry at the door. Te Rangi landed a trademark spinning back-kick (he made his legend in K-1) but the ref jumped in after some classic, brutal ground and pound from Scanlon sent the T-man's blood squirting to all corners of the ring.
Great night, great promotion. More importantly, this ring girl had a great rack:
BUTCHER BOB'S MORTUARY MINUTE: NOTED LESBIAN & AL FRANKEN IMPERSONATOR LEAPS TO HER DEATH
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AND THE AL FRANKEN DECADE SCREECHES TO A SCREAMING 20 FLOOR HALT WHILE A NATION HANGS ITS HEAD IN SHAME.
SAN FRANCISCO (SkullGame) -- Shocked community leaders wondered Sunday whether the pressure of the job or simply resembling the left wing radio hack prompted the apparent suicide of the University of California, Santa Cruz chancellor.
"Everybody's stunned," Santa Cruz Mayor Cynthia Mathews said of the death Saturday of Denice Dee Denton, 46. "It's sad for her personally and for the university. Ok, well, maybe it's not so sad for her personally any MORE, if you know what I mean. It's been a very tough tenure for her."
Denton apparently jumped from a 43-story luxury apartment building in downtown San Francisco, police and university officials said. Her longtime partner, Gretchen Kalonji, has an apartment in the building, according to property records.
Denton's mother, Carolyn Mabee, was in the apartment building the time of the death, and reportedly told investigators her daughter was "very depressed" about constantly being mistaken for Franken and professional problems. She continued " I told her time after time to get a haircut and contact lenses but NOOOOO...she wouldn't listen to me, miss smarty-pants."
Denton sometimes wondered to friends if attacks against her were driven by her sexual orientation and position as a woman chancellor, or simply the fact that UCSC actually thought they DID hire Al Franken said City Councilman Mike Rotkin.
"The criticism was fairly relentless, but I never got the impression that any of that bothered her," Rotkin said. "Being a dyke, she had a particularly forceful personality. You know how they are."
"She came to town with the label as an 'out lesbian,' no one outed her, I mean, come ON...one look and it's pretty obvious." Correa said. "Young people need to see that looking like Franken and being leader in the UC community was an important symbol."
SKULLGAME FUCKING RADIO BITCHES: DIG IN, TURN ON, FUCK YOUR MOTHER!!!
AND MAYBE NEXT TIME WE'LL EVEN PLUG THE MIC IN, BABY.......
MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME in association with the brave men at PACIFIC COAST HELLWAY are doing SKULLGAME PRESENTS THE PCH PORN REPORT. Kind of like the Farm Report. For loads.
Listen & weep, bitches.
PACIFIC COAST HELLWAY ONE
PACIFIC COAST HELLWAY DEUX
AXL ROSE, WINNER & STILL CHAMPION THIGH BITER, RETURNS TO DEFEND HIS TITLE
AT THE BEGINNING OF ROUND 2, OLD LADY MAKES THE FIRST MOVE ON AN UNSUSPECTING ROSE & HIS EXTREMELY GAY HAIR
STOCKHOLM (SkullGame) -- GUNS N' ROSES frontman AXL ROSE has been arrested in Stockholm after reportedly biting a 62-year old security guard on the leg. The singer, who was performing in the Swedish capital last night, also allegedly engaged in a drunken brawl with an unknown handicapped woman.
An aging security guard, who tried to break up the fight, was bitten on the leg by the rocker and taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation in the early hours of this morning. Police spokesman Lars-Erik Larsson confirms, "He has been taken into custody, but I can't comment on anything more than that."
Rose faces charges of damaging property, assault and threatening police. As well as slapping and extremely faggoty hair. And shit. Police officer Tove Hagg tells Swedish newspaper The Local, "We have a rock star, but we won't confirm the name yet. I'm not sure if he was taken away in handcuffs, but he is in the drunk cell and we are waiting for him to sober up before we talk to him."
Associated Press reports that Rose, 44, could be kept in jail until Friday, according to Hagg, when at such time Rose has an unscheduled bout against a 10-year-old flower vendor.
Guns N' Roses are scheduled to play in Oslo, Norway, tomorrow and in Denmark on Thursday.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: HIGH ON LIFE. AND VIKS. AND VIAGRA. AND SOMA. AND OXY. AND WHISKEY SOURS. AND A DYING SENSE OF HIS PREVIOUSLY COLOSSAL SENSE OF SELF WORTH.
ONLY IN AMERICA CAN A RICH, FAT MAN LIKE ME PIKED TO THE GILLS ON A BOUILLABAISE OF ILLEGAL PHARMACEUTICALS & SLATHERED IN UNDERAGE TEENAGED HOOKERS LECTURE THE REST OF AMERICA ON THEIR CORRODING MORAL FIBER!!! WHAT A GREAT GODDAMNED COUNTRY!
FLORIDA (SkullGame) -- U.S. talk show host RUSH LIMBAUGH was detained at a Florida airport on Monday after authorities found a bottle of Viagra amongst his luggage without a prescription. The conservative pundit and apparent whoremonger, 55, spent three hours in custody at Palm Beach International Airport, dragging his erect penis against the bars of his cell while singing "nigra spirituals" following a flight from the Dominican Republic, after customs officials discovered Viagra in his possession with two doctors' names on it.
His lawyer Roy Black insists, "(It was) labelled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes. Like him wanting to keep his love for underage prostitutes private. Oh, oops...."
Paul Miller, spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, says Limbaugh claims the drug -- which can be used to treat erectile dysfunction -- was for his personal use and he obtained it from medics.
A report will be filed with the Sheriff's Office, who will decide whether to charge Limbaugh with a second-degree misdemeanor violation for cock crimes against teenaged humanity.
