WITH SkullGame increasing its push into the world of modern music we welcome our newest sponsors, POLYSUTRA RECORDS, and their re-release of the seminal country music release by GERALDINE AND RICKY, a fine alt-country rendering of the best songs sung by VINNIE'S favorite dummy talkers.
"I THINK MY WORK SPEAKS FOR ITSELF," SAYS GERALDINE THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH AS SHE GETS READY TO LAUNCH INTO HER SEARING RENDITION OF JOHNNY TAYLOR'S GREAT "IT'S CHEAPER TO KEEP HER."
SKULLGAME CONSIDERS: RETURNING TO SCHOOL AS TEACHERS TAKE TITTY TO TASK AS TEACHING TOOL. STUDENTS REPORT LEARNING "LOADS AND LOADS."
THE UNDERAPPRECIATED TAMARA HOOVER'S BEEN TOSSED ON HER TUSH FOR SHOWING TIT IN A SHINING EXAMPLE OF THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT'S ANTI-TIT AGENDA.
AUSTIN, Texas (SkullGame) -- Until they found the topless photos, Austin High School officials considered Tamara Hoover an excellent art teacher with a knack for helping students find their creativity. Now, she's fighting for her job.
The photos, which were posted on Flickr.com by her partner, depict Hoover in the shower, lifting weights, getting dressed, in bed and doing other routine activities. Hoover said Friday the photos are art and makes no apologies.
"I'm an artist and I'm going to participate in the arts," Hoover said. "If that's not something they want me to do then I want to be told that. I don't feel as if I was doing anything that was beyond expectations."
The crypto-fascist school district said the photos were inappropriate and violate the "higher moral standard of showing the demon breasts to excite the gentles of the youth she's been charged with teaching God's law" expected of public school teachers. As she was escorted out of class last month she was told that she's become an ineffective teacher.
The district wants to revoke her teaching certification, which would keep her out of Texas classrooms permanently. Hoover will appeal the ruling and is prepared to take the case to court, she said.
The photos came to light last month as a result of a feud over ceramics equipment with another art teacher, according to sworn affidavits. Students, very, very gay students, who had seen the pictures showed the teacher, who then notified school officials.
The school was attended by President Bush's drinking, hiding-crack-in-their-sneakers-at-court daughters, Barbara and JENNA.
IN a related news story the following teacher also took her clothes off for a class project....
MY GOD!!! WILL NOTHING STOP THIS ASSAULTER OF GOOD TASTE & SENSIBILITY?!?!? IS THERE NOTHING WE CAN DO TO STOP HER?!?!? MY GOD, PLEASE STOP HER....FOR THE KIDS.
FROM JUDGE ROY BEAN FOR THE LADIES: SKULLGAME’S COSMOPOLITAN-ESQUE QUESTIONNAIRE. CAREFULLY ASSEMBLED BY LEADING EXPERTS ON EXPLAINING YOUR FEELINGS AS A WOMAN, HUMAN, COCKSOCKET, AND GENRAL SLOBJOBBER TO YOURSELF.
Question
1) Your vagina is best described as:
A. - A safe and secure treasure for which only few have possessed a key.
B. - A bottomless pit that has been filled with thousands of balls and poses a danger to small children.
C. - An amusement park frequented heavily by German tourists and ill-chaperoned high school field trip groups.
Question
2) All of the following are:
A. - Non-existent.
B. - Extinct.
C. – Things that are miraculously here and then gone again come the middle of the night.
Question
3) People have told you they view your vagina as:
A. - A crushing black-hole of negative energy from which there is no hope of escape
B. - A trap used to ensnare and cripple the unsuspecting
C. - An open port which is freely accessible via the internet
Question 4)
Your husband/boyfriend/employer/milkman’s biggest problem is a lack of:
A. - Nuts
B. - Balls
C. - Sense
Question 5)
In red crayon, please circle the part of your brain that JUST DOESN'T FUCKING GET IT!:
___________________________
Scoring:
For each answer of A, award yourself 3 points. For each answer of B, award yourself 2 points. For each answer of C, award yourself 1 point.
Score the questions accordingly and then total your score. Once you have your score, remember that no matter what any of your regularly subscribed to periodicals tell you that you are but a vapid whore that should have been spending her time making with sucky and letting us borrow $5 and shit.
MARIAH CAREY DRINKS SEMEN. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I CAN EVEN DRESS MYSELF. IN YARN. AND THINGS.
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Pop superstar lunatic MARIAH CAREY has laughed off reports she ordered an assistant help her drink water and/or semen at a recent album signing. During the London event, the "We Belong Together" singer was photographed drinking water from a glass held up to her mouth by an employee with a penis.
The 36-year-old says, "That is so, ugh ... I was at a record signing and I signed about 3,000 records. Most artists will go for maybe half and hour, then they leave everybody standing there. I always feel guilty doing that, so I stay for a long time. I'm signing with one hand and sucking somebody else, so someone tapped me to take a sip of water, and then they took a picture.
"But believe me, I'd much rather hold my own glass! OR penis. I can't even get a proper assistant, how am I gonna get a cup-, or penis-holder?"
