AND from the WHERE ARE THEY NOW? bin SkullGame gives a nod to our past days' comedic fave JON LOVITZ whose most recent appearance in the San Fernando remake Schindler's Fist, following quickly on the tail of his bow in Romancing the Bone, marks a significant return to form for one of the great ones....
GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE STILL WORKING THERE, JONNY BOY....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
JESSICA SIMPSON USES "STOMACH ULCER" TO MASK "SEMEN REFLUX"; SKULLGAME NOT FOOLED.
THE SLATTERNIZING EFFECT OF SEMENIZATIONAL INTER-INTESTINAL INJECTIONS ARE READILY APPARENT: THE TEST SUBJECT BECOMES BLONDE & COATLESS. THOUGH, IT SHOULD BE NOTED, NO LESS LIKELY TO TURN AWAY FROM A HEARTY MEAL OF MAN MUNG.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- JESSICA SIMPSON had to seek medical attention after suffering from a possible "stomach ulcer." The star was seen leaving a Beverly Hills, Calif., medical clinic on May 19.
A source close to the singer tells the U.S. edition of OK! magazine she was seeing a physician and undergoing tests to confirm whether or not she has an ulcer...brought about by the gobbling of copious coconuts from a steady supply of Mexican bus boys, Negro drivers and an Armenian.
Simpson is back in the studio working on her next album.
Here's hoping for a speedy and painful death. For us. So we don't have to listen to that fucking thing.
ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: THE WHORE OF BABYLON PREGNANT. AGAIN.
"I USUALLY STORE MY SEMEN RIGHT HERE. OR IN MY STOMACH. BUT SURPRISE, SURPRISE, I GUESS I GOT SOME IN THE COOCH."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Former Playboy model, psychotic fat slut and butt of numerous SkullGame barbs ANNA NICOLE SMITH and celebrity photojournalist Larry Birkhead are expecting a baby girl.
Birkhead has confirmed the pregnancy, telling TMZ.com, "I have been told that I am expecting a child, I have seen the ultrasound and have spoken to doctors. I am very excited about the possibility of becoming a father to the apocalypse."
Birkhead had recently slammed rumors that Smith was pregnant, but insisted Wednesday he was pressured into making the denial. He said, "I've been asked in the past by (Smith's "dirty Jew" lawyer and radio host) Howard K. Stern to deny the rumor."
Stern hit back at Birkhead telling TMZ.com, "Anna wants semen. And lots of it. If that guy thinks he can monopolize her semen intake well, he is having trouble dealing with reality. Anyways, you'll be able to find out soon enough (if she's pregnant). Because she's NOT."
On Thursday, Smith confirmed the news in a video on her Web site.
She says, "Let me stop all the Jew rumor-mongering. Yes, I am pregnant. I am happy -- very, very happy about it. Everything is going really, really good and I'll be checking in periodically on the Web.
"I'll let you see me as I'm growing!"
Smith has a 20-year-old son, Daniel, from a previous relationship, who has recently been reported as having stabbed his eyes out with a #2 pencil rather than have to see the shambled ruin that our world will soon become.
HEINRICH, OUR RESIDENT HOMO NAZI, HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IRAN. AND IRANIAN MEN. AND UNBUTTONED SHIRTS, GOLD CHAINS, AND BAD COLOGNE.
NEVER DOES A MAN STAND SO TALL AS WHEN HE STOOPS TO HELP A FALLEN JEW. HEINRICH & A YOUNG ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER JUST HELPING A BIT WHERE THEY CAN.
Achtung disturbed readers of SkullGame. You have not been privelged with my presense in zee long while. But every time I think I’m out, zhey keep pulling back in, jah.
Anyvay, big news in zee world and big news in zee 4th Reich! I have officially made Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, zee Vice Lieutenant Governor of zee Fascist State of California. I was impressed by his most current edict in his own country, zhat I had to bring him here to assist me in my prolonged struggle against zee resident sub-species and other such shizer.
For you idiots who are not aware of what he did, vhich vould include just about anyvon reading SkullGame, Herr Ahmaddinejad is now forcing all non-Muslims to wear tastefully decorated colored arm-bands. Yellow for Jews, red for Christians and blue for Zoroastrians. I’m not sure vear he got dis idea from, but it does seem familiar. In any event, it’s brilliant!
Now most of you are probably wondering vhy vould I, Heinrich, leader of zee 4th Reich and perfect human being, vould give a non-German, and especially a Muslim, such a high-ranking position within the Reich? You are probably thinking zat all zee people from zee middle east are zee sub-species. Vell, jah, most are. I mean you have zee Arabs, or as I like I like to put it, niggers caught in zee sand storm. And of course you have….vell, you know, disgusting facking Jews.
However, Iranians are different. Sure, they have been infested by sub-speices thoughout zee years. But true Iranians are as pure Aryans as me, you and everyone else, vell expcept for non-Aryan sub-humans. No you’re probably asking, ‘Vait Heinrich, isn’t it true zhat only blond, blue-eyed, large pectoraled, Schwarzeneggerien super men are Aryans?’ Not true again. Don’t believe me? Vell, do you know what Iran means? It means Land of Zee Aryans. Need more proof? Vell, zee word Caucasian refers to zee people of zee Caucasus Mountains, located in Northern Iran. But vhat about zhem being Muslims? How can I tolerate zhat? Hey, zhey are making Jews vear arm bands ok! Let’s stop vhile vee are ahead.
Anyvay, I just talked to Herr Ahmadinejad, or Moumou, as I like to call him vhen it’s just me and him, and he said he’s been studying colors at zee University of Tehran all day. He vas concerned because he learned zat vhere are many more sub-species in California then in Iran and he didn’t vant any confusion by overlapping colors. But, after deep research, he uncovered five more colors for more arm bands.
So vee vill of course give zee Jews yellow, red for Christians. Zhere are no Zoroastrians here, so we’ll give blue to Chinese, green to retards and handicaps, rainbow for zee homosexuals, pink for feminists, white for Blacks (Moumou can be so such a practical joke player), brown for zee Mexicans (not sure if vee vill be able to see zee bands against zheir skin, but vell just have to try dis von out and see). Vee vere going to give orange to zee Filipinos, but we just decided to poison all cans of spam and just do anyway with those animals for once and for all.
Dis is just such an exciting time to be a Californian and a fascist that even my old friend from zee 3rd Reich, Pope Benedict XVI, called me up and wanted join. I said just stop worshipping zat Jew, Jesus, and I’ll make it happen. He says he hasto sleep on it. On zhat note, I love you California! Seig Heil!!!!
