THE AMAZING SKULLGAME SLUT SELECTER: ENTER YOUR FAVORITE STAR’S NAME AND OUR AMAZING SUPERSLUTCOMPUTER SPITS OUT THEIR SLUT STANDING

RACHEL HUNTER? SLUT!

$900,000 WORTH OF TIT, WHICH YOU GET FOR FREE!!!

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- The 35-year old model and celeb do-nothing RACHEL HUNTER, immediately post-her breakup with the BARBARA WALTERSESQUE former alleged cum guzzler ROD STEWART, has drowned her sorrows in the best way possible: by having ROBBIE WILLIAMS massage her knobs into shape for photographing by Playboy magazine in a vain attempt to shore up her flagging self-esteem. Offered a staggeringly insane $1.8 million to strip by the obviously senile and bathrobed HUGH HEFNER, Hunter agreed with our computer's irreducibly drawn conclusion: "Yes. Yes, I am a slut."

THE LAST TIME IN THESE PAGES, EVEN IF SHE GROWS A THIRD TIT, THAT YOU WILL SEE GWYNETH PALTROW--MOTHER, WIFE, DESTROYER OF MEN LIKE VIGGO AND ACCORDING TO OUR COMPUTERS: SLUT

MIGHT WE SUGGEST A TRIPLE-BLADED LADY SCHICK?

HABIB SPEAKS: "TAILS" FROM THE "HARD" SIDE

SLUT? HELLLLLLLLL NO. GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN LIKE THAT....NO FUCKING WAY

BROOKLYN (SkullGame) -- Biohazard bassist (yeah we don't remember who the fuck they are either except that VINNIE ROSE sez they used to play at L'Amours in Brooklyn and were solely responsible for that fucking rap-metal bullshit) turned actor EVAN SEINFELD is making the jump from HBO's critically acclaimed prison rape drama OZ to porn with wife TERA PATRICK. When reached for comment Seinfeld mumbled some totally gay bullshit about "making love to my wife."

We here at SKULLGAME laugh at that notion. Expect this flick to not be
making anyone at all with a cock jack off to it in the near goddamned future through VIVID "WHY DON'T WE ALL JUST KILL OURSELVES RATHER THAN WATCH THEIR VIDEOS?" VIDEO.

KATE MOSS? YES: A SLUTTY, SLUT SLUT!!!

LONDON (SkullGame) -- Sexy superslut KATE MOSS is holding a star-studded 30th birthday party, themed on sluttery and the F. Scott Fitzgerald novel "The Beautiful and Damned."

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME NOT COKED UP?!?!

"'The Beautiful and Damned' is all about wild parties, threesomes, orgies, drugs, alcohol and mental breakdowns so it should be a very interesting night," says some other slut who got invited who we know through that asshole JACK BLACK.

"Each room will have a different theme based on the book, and there is a door that links both houses so everyone can flit from sucking straight to fucking and then back again."

FROM KATE MOSS' "JAPANESE ARE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS" THEME ROOM