Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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If you're dealing with us?
Why, yes, you will be
[ Full Review ]








01.12.04
SKULLGAME STAGGERING DRUNK WHILE VINNIE ROSE POKES PARIS HILTON (OR SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE HER, BUT WHOM WE SUSPECT IS A MAN) WHILE SWEEPING AVN, LITERALLY; PLUS: INTERVIEWING A LUNATIC

Big, giant balls of brass thoroughly drained in 48 hours of sharing, caring, preaching, and teaching at the Adult Entertainment Expo

LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- Out amongst the gliterrati this past weekend in the city that BUGSY SIEGEL built, the men of MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME, the journal of note of all of the shit that's fit to fucking print, ripped through Sin City to bring you this special report.


ITALIAN SAL SHOOTS & FUCKING SCORES

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KRISTAL SUMMERS ENDURES A 5TH CONSECUTIVE INQUIRY REGARDING HER DESIRE TO SEE SAL'S FRESHLY SHAVED ASS WHILE THE ANSWER REMAINS: NO



MAX HARDCORE FUCKING FUCKED UP

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SNOSH RISH, BROOP, HOOKED UP....SNIZZLE: MAX AND GAY MAN

Despite a pathological aversion to men's rooms in general CORNHOLIO went in to take a piss before hitting CLUB RIO. Weaving around the goddamned urinal was none other than Mr. CORE himself. Weaving. Bobbing. And even bobbing and weaving.

What follows is the entire text of the interview.

MAX: Thas' right...
CORNHOLIO: [Total...fucking...silence]
MAX: My man's got it hooked up.
CORNHOLIO: We have a name for men who befriend other men by urinals.
MAX: I want to introduce you to my bitches.

MAX walks CORNHOLIO over to his bitches where we find them talking to a heavily muscled porn cock and announces: Sish ish my fucking man. He'sh hooked up.

CORNHOLIO: Hello, ladies.

BITCHES: (in unison) Hiiii....

MAX to BARBELL BOY: Yeah! Thas who the fuck I am. Who I AM!!!

MAX staggers off into the Casino night leaving the Bitches scooting after him in a wake of hat, trailing toilet paper, and whisshkeysh.



ITALIAN SAL DRESSES UNIMPRESSED

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JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO FIND MY FUCKING EYES

Here's a snapshot for you: STEPHANIE SWIFT riding an elevator with me, CORNHOLIO and STEELY ROB, down to the first floor of the Venetian 30 minutes before the award show NOT looking her very best, bedecked in a dirty t-shirt and blue pajama pants with white clouds clutching a variety of wire appliances to her chest. Tina fucked her so I gotta be nice but if there was one word to describe how she looked that rhymed with tit, she'd have been it.



AN INTERVIEW WITH A LUNATIC

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MY NAME IS ELMER J. FUDD. I OWN A MANSION AND A YACHT...OH YEAH, AND A HARD-ON FOR LARGE, DANGEROUS NEGROES

LUNATIC: The world's BIGGEST rapist is here today. Just walking around.

SKULLGAME: Who would that be?

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HIGHLY LIKELY TO FUCK YOU UP WITH LITTLE OR NO PROVOCATION; SPITTING ON SAID SPECIMEN IS LARGELY INADVISABLE

LUNATIC: MIKE TYSON!!! And if I get to within FOUR feet of him today I'm, well I'm just going to SPIT right on him.

SKULLGAME: And that'll be the last thing you do today. Now if you excuse us, we're due back on Planet Earth.



BACKSTREET BOY SLAPS LAS VEGAS JEWEL THIEF WHILE LISPING FOR "POLICEMENS"

BACKSTREET BOY A.J. McLean leapt to the rescue to help chase a jewel thief in a Las Vegas hotel's parking lot. The singer was trying on watches in Rocks, the Hard Rock Hotel's jewellery store, when a man walked in and asked to try on several bracelets and rings.

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PLEASE. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! I HAVE DOGS. LOOK I HAVE DOGS!!!

Without warning the man, who was wearing a $40,000 diamond- encrusted ring, suddenly made a run for the exit. Las Vegas club personality Marklen Kennedy, a friend of McLean's, says, "The girl at the counter screamed that she could not leave the store, so A.J. just shot out of there like a rocket."

McLean and a hotel security guard on a bicycle caught the thief and recovered the stolen property that represented approximately 0.000356 percent of the total profit made by the Hard Rock and 67 percent of the total profit made by the failing singer's band of near negro singers.

McLean was reportedly in the American gambling capital to make an appearance at this week's Adult Entertainment Expo.




STEELY ROB MAINTAINS: HEAVY METAL BITCHES ARE STONED AND LIKE NADS

"A little apres-show west and wewaxation," says Rob

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ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL SKULLGAME EVENING


 


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