FORMER RON JEREMY RAPO VICTIM GINGER "THE FORMER MRS. CHARLIE SHEEN" LYNN ADDS JUST RIGHT AMOUNT OF SNATCH TO SKIN
NEW YORK (SkullGame)--AVN Hall of Famer GINGER LYNN's role as a retired porn star in the new Fox drama SKIN is the role of a lifetime that, interestingly enough, she's been playing for a goddamned lifetime. And counting.
OK. THIS RABBI WALKS INTO A BAR....
Billed as a Romeo and Juliet story for chrissakes and set in San Fernando Valley instead of Renaissance Rome, SKIN has a Montaguesque DA going head to head with a Capulet-like adult entertainment empire exec, in a drama that's so totally unlike the meth-fueled reality as to be insulting to the very fabric of space and time.
...SAVE THE TIPS!!! GET IT?!?! GET IT?!? DRINKS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS!!!
Producers, in their one serious nod to fucking common sense, cast the still UN-retired, though grimly aging LYNN in the recurring role of retired porn star Amber Synn: a recovering alcoholic and former drug addict. The first volume of her new reality porn series GINGER PICKS comes out next month with...with...ha...with...hahahah....with...wait...wait, hahaha.....oh shit. Recovered? Hooooo shit. Hahaha...hahaha....former...jesus...like....oooo fuck.....
ITALIAN SAL: A CONFESSION AND ADMISSION OF A LIFE LIVED LIKE A LIE
Stunned by a recent SkullGame article on transvestitism and forced into confession by a realization that only the truth will set you free, our own ITALIAN SAL has decided to out himself and has chosen as a forum this fair site for the express purpose of delivering the following pre-planned statement:
Ladies and Gentlemen of MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME....Aw, who the fuck am I kidding? MEN of MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME it is with an open heart, a wide smile and a clear conscience that I use this space and time to announce what's been burbling under the surface for years, suspected by few, felt by many...look, what I'm trying to say is that it is time that I make a clear breast of it and so I shall: Today, this the 21st of October, I would like it known that I, ITALIAN SAL, finally making peace with my inner nature, announce to the world the TRUTH:
I AM A GOAT TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A MAN!
Sure, it seems unlikely, but with the careful and considered work and aid of the Geo-Oriental American Trans-Species (GOATS) Association I have found the peace that for so long had evaded me and now I hope that my revelation will prove to be a beacon of light to other trans-species individuals, be they Man-Goats, Capuchin Monkey Men, or Badger Boys.
FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST!!!
I know how much this means to you because I know how much this means to me. I know all about the discrimination. The laughter. The ridicule. VINNIE ROSE himself was telling me about his disgusting ass-sniffing habit and I truly believe this is his trans-speciesism working its way to the fore. Anyway my point is, in the future, as I come to grow increasingly comfortable with my essential Goat nature, be it eating tin cans, shitting little balls or head-butting rivals, though I know, I...know it will be difficult, I only hope that I can count on this community of fellow travelers to join me in one capacity or another.
So, come. Come out of the closet. The weather is fine.--ITALIAN SAL
A POINT/COUNTERPOINT: VINNIE ROSE v. CORNHOLIO
VINNIE ROSE: FUCKING BRING ON THE HOLLYWOOD HOOKERS GODDAMNIT!!!
FIND HER. FIND HER FOR US AND WE'LL GIVE YOU $100 AND A HANDFUL OF SPOOGE. INCIDENTALLY THE SAME THING WE WILL HAVE GIVEN HER AFTER WE FIND HER.
According to Fayner at LUKE FORD, SHAYLA STYLEZ is out STREETWALKING on Sunset Boulevard, for god's sake. And we ain't talking about for any sort of fitness benefits.
Though Scott goes noodle on us and gets all fucking Mother Theresa when he says that "Hooking on the Strip is one fucked up move for a porn chick." We here at MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME have to say HOLY MOTHER OF GOD....FUEL UP OUR GODDAMNED JET!!! We mean even though our main squeeze CARLY over at Pornblography states that SHAYLA stumbled down that same fucking flight of stairs that ALWAYS precedes a story like this, mainly her separation from BOB FRIEDLAND at JKP, what we fucking hate is the TACIT assumption like she's "sunk low."
Fuck that. Fuck THAT.
Ho'ing is a fucking noble profession. The Chinese even have a saying: "don't laugh at the prostitute, laugh at the poor person."
Sure, sure we MIGHT be witnessing the near total disintegration of a personality but that's so much LESS the point than her need to turn lemons into lemonade and embrace that street side sucking and fucking with as much brio as one 23-year-old with a mouthful of jipe can bear.
I'm VINNIE ROSE. And that's my goddamned opinion.
CORNHOLIO: THE REBUTTAL
She's working Sunset? You gotta be goddamned kidding me?!?! No fucking shit, you gotta be kidding me?!? [Breaking off a nearby car antenna]. Yeahhhh.
BABY. BABY? I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE DOING THIS. YOU'RE MY WOMAN. BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE GOING TO BE DOING THIS YOU BETTER BE DOING IT RIGHT. AND BRINGING ME HOME THAT GODDAMNED SCRILLA. NOW PLEASE COME HOME, BABY. PLEASE.
Now les' see, I bet she be breaking off oooo, at least fitty an hour. At least. Hmm, I could probably run this one out to KOBE'S house on the regular too. Yeahhhh. That's JUST what I'll do.
I'm CORNHOLIO, I'm a'gonna light that ass UP when I find it, and that's my goddamned opinion.
