PENTHOUSE? EVICTED?
Yeah. Penthouse mag and associated properties are getting booted off of the top floor into possibly a double sized-refrigerator box.
PentWinos In Their New Digs Burning One for the Homies Not There
Now we're not saying that Bobby Boy is an asshole, like AL BORDA, or anything other than a good paisan of ours, we're just saying that 68-year old guys aren't sexy. They're creepy. Still it rankles the fuck out of us that they didn't call us first thing to take possession of all of that orange fun fur furniture they got up there. The multi-colored juke boxes. The jugs of vaseline for smearing on their camera lenses. That and all of the now unemployable cooze that will eventually find its way down our way ANYway. More on this goddamned story as it develops. PENTHOUSE UPDATE!
DRUNK. SHIT. SHEMM. MELONGING BY ME CRAPLONGITUDINAL. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
Yeah. Typing today with one hand. Like I ain't used to do THAT anyway, fucking ONANIST that I am. But this time it ain't the Job of Jerking Off (JOJO) that's driving my massively swollen right paw off of the keyboard and into my lap.
This time it's the time-honored art of fucking punching the fuck out of someone, call him, FUNNY GUY, who, inspired by the bagginess of my fucking MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME shorts thought it'd be a laff, in full on British (which is where I am now) Benny Hill fucking fashion to try give the ol' yanks shorts a yank.
Yeah yeah yeah, we KNOW youse think that we're joking half the time here but I can assure you in a way that no ones ever been assured that even when we're joking we tell the truth and so it was that VINNIE brought the fucking hammer down and out he went.
It was beautiful.
Almost as beautiful as his girlfriend and her total willingness to get all up in our tongue as we stood over his sleeping body.
God bless the British and all the booze they can consume as there is no way this could have happened in, say, Encino. And us not being arrested.
Jesus.
STONEHENGE IS HOOCH-TASTIC!!!
And yet another reason why the fucking Brits are great. A team of British scientists in the full-blown glow of big brass balls and the baskets of fucking money that they got to study this shit, have reasoned, and possibly correctly so, that Stonehenge is really a pink flamingo equivalent of the female genitalia. A big ol' stone pussy. Genius.
If you can tell the difference then you're a British scientist.
