AND in his special SALUTE TO AMERICA President George W. Bush wishes for the American public what God's wished on VINNIE ROSE in private*....if y'all don't start BUYING MORE GODDAMNED PORN!!! Seriously. This is no fucking joke. Translation: no...fucking...joke.
"HI AMERICA! PLEASE FELLATE THE FINGER. WHENEVER'S CONVENIENT FOR YOU ALL."
FOOT NOTE:
*GOD agrees....
"FUCK YOU...PAY ME."
KATIE HOLMES IN HOMO-PANIC PRISON WHILE NON-HOMOSEXUAL TOM CRUISE NODS SAGELY BETWIXT BACK RUBS & GAMES OF MUMBLEDY PEG WITH OTHER NON-HOMOSEXUAL INMATES
"JUST...KEEP...SMILING..." A GAY, ER, I MEAN GAME KATIE HOLMES REMINDS HERSELF. ALONG WITH THINGS LIKE "MY NAME'S NOT BOB" & "SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO LIE ON THEIR STOMACHS TO HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME."
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Pregnant actress KATIE HOLMES stunned a magazine journalist when she accompanied "fiance" Tom Cruise on a recent interview, by acting in a "dazed, passive and vacant" manner befitting a woman who's realized that life with a non-homosexual wasn't nearly as heterosexual as she would have liked.
The former Dawson's Creek beauty and lost soul, 27, sat quietly beside Cruise as he opened up in a completely honest and forthright manner about the love that dare not speak its name, specifically for....his abusive father Thomas Mapother III to Parade reporter Dotson Rader. In the Parade interview, Rader writes, "Holmes wore a large diamond engagement ring. On a radio-controlled collar. Around her neck. She seemed dazed, passive and vacant. And tired of having to dress up as someone named 'Gregory.' She also never stopped smiling."
Rader was stunned to notice Holmes kept smiling, even as Cruise recalled the beatings he suffered as a child who had a marked penchant for "being the Mommy," during childhood "role playing games."
SAL PACINO: UP CLOSE & PERSONAL. WITH A CUNT. STARRING RAVEN ST. CLAIRE
FOR THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU'RE FEELING...NOT SO FRESH? KOTEX HEAVIES. FOR THE CUNT IN YOU.
Hello degenerates,
I would like to introduce you to a close, or should I say, not-so-close personal friend of mine.
Yes, RAVEN ST. CLAIRE.
You see, Raven fancies herself a fetish model, and for those of you who don't know what that means, it means she doesn't like to admit she is a whore. You see being in the adult film industry for the better part of my life I have run into cunts like this every couple of months. Cunts who think they are too wise for their own good. It really is incredible how after blowing a half a dozen guys during some naked pseudo-VAMPIRE photo shoot she would behave so badly, as whores often do.
And just like the whore that she is after the sucking subsided she demanded to be paid EXTRA. Now you can understand how this would fuck with my sensibly sensible sensibilities. I mean, who in the fuck does this pale face bitch think she is?
Obviously my answer to her request for more money was, "Bitch, you can line your pockets with whatever is left on the craft service table, but you're getting paid just what we agreed to initially." Can you believe the nuts on these dog-faced bitches? After thinking about it I walked up to where she was changing, crying or mopping semen off of herself and said "hey Babe, here is 40 bucks for your trouble." To which she got all indignant with me, saying things like, "I am not no cheap two bit whore," and things to that effect, to which I quickly responded, "Yes you are and you said so yourself 'not no' is a double negative, which means that is exactly what you are," going on to say "a cheap whore that is."
Anyhow, just like in the Folgers commercial, what Raven St. Claire doesn't know...is that we replaced her potential career with the career-killing jacket of "she is difficult to work with." Which in this industry is essentially the kiss of death.
Guess what Cunt?
I have been in this industry since you were in High School, Junior High even! Every pony-tail having Armenian in Southern California with an 8 mm camera and a telephoto lens will know what a difficult cunt you are.
Good luck with what is left of your career, oh and yes, I would work with you again, but this time the sucking will be on film...
ANGELINA JOLIE & BRAD PITT GO NIGRA HUNTING IN NAMIBIA; NIGRAS ECSTATIC
MBUSU SHI SHONGE IS APPARENTLY DELIGHTED AT BEING ADOPTED BY THE WHITE WOMAN WITH HER HAND ON HIS CRANK.
NAMIBIA (SkullGame) -- Hollywood couple ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT have caused a media storm in the African country Namibia, only weeks before the "actress" is due to give birth.
The Mr. and Mrs. Smith co-stars arrived with their adopted children Maddox and Zahara Marley on Wednesday for a family holiday at a beachfront lodge.
The Regional Chief of Police, Deputy Commissioner Andrew Iyambo, told The Namibian newspaper the couple's staff approached them a month ago concerning fears over their safety and were guaranteed security on their vacation.
"As soon as they get the fuck out of Namibia I will guarantee their safety 100%," says an AK-47 wielding Iyambo nervously eyeing a small child with a limp.
THE SKULLGAME POETRY CORNER: A POEM ABOUT BOYS & GIRLS TO START YOUR WEEKEND OFF RIGHT
GIRL POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
BOY POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a Autoparts store and a bodyshop.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
