AND if a picture is worth a thousand words this photo submitted by YOZA, a denizen of Venice, California bespeaks volumes to the degree to which he will go to prove that he is NOT gay and in the process, of course, proving that he is nothing but.
TEXTBOOK DEFINITION: GAY!!!
BARRY BONDS SUES THE FUCK OUT OF THE WORLD OVER PUBLISHED ALLEGATIONS THAT HE GAINED 40 POUNDS OF MUSCLE ON SOMETHING OTHER THAN CAMPBELL'S SOUP.
BONDS SAYS HELLO TO TEAMMATE & PORN STAR LIAR JEFF KENT THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW: WITH MURDER IN HIS EYES.
SAN FRANCISCO (SkullGame) -- BARRY BONDS lost the first round Friday of his legal attack on a book by two Chronicle reporters that accuses him of using steroids in his pursuit of baseball's home run records, 40 pounds of muscle and a rage unquenchable -- and a judge signaled that the Giants slugger's prospects for victory in the long term were slim, much to the chagrin of Bonds who was quoted as saying later "AGGGHHHHHHHHH......!!!!!!!"
Judge James Warren of San Francisco Superior Court denied Bonds' request that he appoint a receiver to monitor sales of the newly published Game of Shadows and seize all profits. In a lawsuit filed earlier in the day, Bonds said "AGGGHHHHHHHHH......!!!!!!!" and that the authors had gotten most of their information from illegally obtained grand jury transcripts that they had no "goddamned right to exploit...I'LL KILL THEM, "AGGGHHHHHHHHH......!!!!!!!"
After a 50-minute hearing, a trembly Warren said, fingering a .45 caliber sidearm, that he saw no need for an immediate freeze on profits from the book.
DOMESTIC TERRORIST DAVID HASSELHOFF ACCUSED OF MAKING HIS NOW VERY WEALTHY EX-WIFE FEEL "YUCKY" THROUGH STRATEGIC APPLICATIONS OF THE WORDS "BITCH," "DIRTY SLUT," AND "WORTHLESS HO." HASSELHOFF RESPONDS ENIGMATICALLY, "SO?"
"LOOK HOW BORING YOU ARE!!! YOU MAKE ME YAWN!!!" HASSELHOFF TRYING TO LOSE WIFE AT MINEFIELD EVENT IN BURKINA FASO.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- In divorce documents, "Baywatch" creator DAVID HASSELHOFF is being painted as a monster who used to hurl "well-deserved" abuse at his wife in front of their kids. The actor's estranged wife, Pamela, claims Hasselhoff terrorized her in her application for a domestic violence hearing.
In the documents Pamela Hasselhoff, claims her husband "grabbed me and pushed me hard into a car," adding, "In the past, he has also broken my nose and called me 'whore,' 'fucking dirty egg-sucking slut,' 'bitch,' 'bitch slut' and 'drug addict bitch slut' in front of our children." Pamela also claims her estranged husband once threatened to drive his car into their house and seize all his wife's jewelry.
Hasselhoff denies all allegations against him saying his defense, "sheeeeiiiittt....you seen her? You'd have done the same thing, homie."
Earlier this month, a Los Angeles judge ordered the actor to stay 100 yards away from his wife and her residence. The judge also ordered him to give up any firearms.
INDEED
LINDSAY LOHAN SAYS SHE'S "NO TARA REID" IN THE FINEST EXAMPLE YET OF THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK
LINDSAY LOHAN BEFORE THE INSANE, DRUG-ADDLED VOMITATION. AND LINDSAY LOHAN AFTER THE PSYCHOTIC, PUKE-RIDDEN REGURGITATION. AS YOU CAN SEE, SHE'S NO TARA REID.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Mean Girls star LINDSAY LOHAN wants to shed her image as a party animal who eats food and become known as a serious actress who does not.
The 19-year-old wants the world to judge her on her screen successes which, at last count, were composed of her left and right tay tays.
She says, "There's this misconception that if you're out one night, then you're said to be out every night. Scoring crank. You have to be careful scoring crank, but I think the main thing is to make sure the people around you are looking out for your best interests when scoring crank. You have to let it roll off your back; I mean I've learned to just ignore it. When scoring crank."
"I'M NO TARA REID EITHER. WAIT A MINUTE...HAHAH...WOO HOOOOO!!!!
"But I think you can also take advantage of the fact that you're in the limelight and put things out into the world that are good messages when you need crank."
"I'm not some TARA REID-style party girl. And I want to be in this business for the long run."
Whatever. Krispy Kreme?
SKULLGAME'S HEROIN ACHIEVER OF THE MONTH WHO DOESN'T WORK FOR SKULLGAME: PINK
A SPREAD FROM A DUTCH MAG FEATURING PINK & PINK'S BITCH WITH ACCOMPANYING TEXT THAT SAYS, AND WE ROUGHLY TRANSLATE: "LESBIANS LIKE EATING PUSSY. AND LOTS OF IT. MILLIONAIRE LESBIANS LIKE TO DO SO WHILE SLAMMING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF HEROIN. WE CAN ONLY HOPE THIS SCENARIO WILL BE IMPROVED UPON WITH VIDEO, AN ERRANT COCK & LOADS. ROOSENHOJEJE!!!"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Pop punk millionairess PINK took heroin when she was a teenager, but she turned her back on the opiate, a mistake some on staff here might characterize as "poorly thought out" and a "damned shame," as she focused on succeeding as a singer. And developing a coke habit befitting her new standing as a rich bitch.
The hitmaker has witnessed the devastation the narcotic can cause when not used aggressively with a program of personal improvement, blowjobs and millions of dollars, with her own eyes -- three of her weaker friends died after overdosing.
She says winking and smirking, "Heroin is a horrible thing. When used incorrectly. I've seen first hand what it can do to people and it's not pretty. I was never that much into it to need treatment. But you name it, I took it. I buried three friends from heroin overdoses. I just stopped one day on Thanksgiving 1995 and never touched them again. Haha....whatever."
And the 26-year-old insists she only dabbled in drugs to alleviate the boredom of her early adolescence in Pennsylvania.
She continues, "It was either that or blowjobs. you see for me drugs were just a distraction on the way to my ultimate goal, which is what I'm doing today: coke. "
ANOTHER SKULLGAME ROAD TRIP...THIS TIME....TO NAZI LAND!!! THAT IS, OHIO. YOU NEED A 12TH MAN AS A CLOSER ON A GANGUS BANGUS IN THE CLEVELAND METROPOLITAN AREA? EMAIL VINNIE@SKULLGAME.COM AND HE'LL DO WHAT HE CAN VIS A VIS HIS COCK & YOUR WIFE.
