Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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Southern Man don't need
you around anyhow!
[ Full Review ]








03.08.06
SKULLGAME FIGHT COVERAGE CONTINUES WITH K1 X-FAGAGANZA, FUCK FILM AUDITIONS. THAT DON'T INVOLVE OUR COCKS. FOR ONCE. BARRY BONDS TRANSVESTITUTISM DOESN'T STOP STEROID "RUMOR" MONGERING. AND ROCK'M, SOCK'M YANNI SMACKS HIS BITCH UP & DOWN.

The difference between FANTASY & REALITY.

In FANTASY, when VAN HALEN sung "Hot For Teacher" you thought about this...

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"PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS AND, UM, S-P-R-E-A-D YOUR...BOOKS OPEN."


In REALITY, if VAN HALEN had gone to school in South Carolina instead of Hollywood Blvd. they'd have thought about this...

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"PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS AND LET ME STAND UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO YOU WHILE MENTIONING, REPEATEDLY, THAT YOU'RE QUITE, UM ATHLETIC. FOR AN 11-YEAR OLD."

LAURENS, S.C. (SkullGame) - A former fifth-grade teacher accused of having sex with her 11-year-old student was ordered held on $100,000 bond Saturday. Prosecutors had wanted Wendie A. Schweikert, 36, jailed without bond, saying she was a danger to the community of 11-year old penises and a flight risk from 11-year old penis.

Schweikert was arrested Friday on two counts of criminal sexual conduct with a minor after the boy's mother accused the teacher of having sex with him at school at least twice, said Laurens Police Chief Robin Morse. The former teacher admitted in a statement to having sex with the boy, Morse said, indicating that it was "an accident. I tripped. His 11-year old penis jumped in my mouth and next thing I know we were at Motel 6 and then there was that whole penis in the mouth thing again."

Schweikert, who resigned from her job at E.B. Morse Elementary School on Friday, did not speak during the hearing, and did not have an attorney. The boy's mother tried to tell the judge how shaken her gay son was, but was choked back by tears. The boy "wanted his mother to tell the court he was scared," prosecutor Jerry Peace said. "He is terrified that the defendant will get out on bond."

A man who answered the door at Schweikert's home Saturday would not comment, murmuring instead, "I'd have been GLAD to get a goddamned hummer at 11. I'd take one NOW, goddamn it. YES, from her, too."

Laurens is in northwestern South Carolina.



FUCK FILM WANTS FUCKERS TO FILM!!!

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JOHN STAGLIANO. HE'S BAD. HE'S NATIONWIDE. HE'S NO LONGER GETTING BANGED IN THE BUTT BY TRANNIES!!!


JOHN STAGLIANO will be shooting FASHIONISTAS #2 this spring in Berlin, Los Angeles and Las Vegas. FASHIONISTAS was the winner of 11 AVN Awards at the 2002 and 2003 award shows. While many of the lead roles for the sequel have already been cast, there are still some dialogue parts to be filled by "actors," and many smaller roles and extras, including non-sex parts. Like spooge drinker.

Casting will occur for both sex and non-sex roles. Especially needed are experienced fetish models. Females and males with experience in adult videos, fetish fashion modeling or fetish parties will have an advantage. People with special visual talents, such as contortionists or aerialists are needed. Overall look and personality will be considered in the casting decision. It is not a requirement to look heavy goth or heavy S/M, but the individual should not look out-of-place in an S/M fetish situation.

All models and performers should be available to be in Los Angeles or Las Vegas on April 27 and 28 or May 1 - 4. Auditions will be held on a reservations-only basis at the Evil Angel offices. March 21 and 22 will be the primary casting days, with April 13 and 14 being reserved for additional audition dates. To schedule a time for auditions, please email karenstagliano@aol.com or call Karen at Evil Angel at 818-787-1414 x121.



SKULLGAME NEWS SHORTS



"AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHGGHHH..." BARRY BONDS RESPONDS TO A REPORTER'S QUESTIONS REGARDING THE STEROID CHARGES THAT CONTINUE TO DOG HIM. EVEN WHEN HE'S WEARING A DRESS.

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"DON'T MAKE LETICIA ANGRY, MR. MC GEE. YOU WOULDN'T LIKE LETICIA ANGRY." BARRY BONDS, AKA "LETICIA" ABOUT TO MAKE A POINT. OF SOME KIND THAT WE ARE LARGELY STILL UNAWARE OF.


SCOTTSDALE (SkullGame) -- SF Giants baseball slugger BARRY BONDS, the subject of continued allegations of rampant juice monkery charged into a press conference today to refute charges of alleged juice monkery. "BIRTH IS PAIN, DEATH IS PAIN, LIFE IS PAIN!!!" Said the 40-year-old Bonds right before kissing his biceps and making some sort of connection between arm muscles and a life of relative comfort. The press conference, for Western States affiliates of Mutual of Omaha's annual analyst's meeting, nodded in assent until his rage-fueled rant petered out and he walked away. Skirt swishing gently around his thighs.

Fag.



ROCK'EM, SOCK'EM IT'S A BLAST. YANNI'S GONNA COME HOME & KICK YOUR FAT, SLUTTY ASS!

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"WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE YANNI SLAP YOU?"

PALM BEACH (SkullGame) -- Acclaimed producer of treacly crap and "pianist" YANNI, in a rare honest moment is facing a domestic battery charge, as a result of that honest moment, after he was arrested at his Florida home in the early hours of last Friday. The "star," whose full name is John Yanni Christopher, as gay as that may sound, denies hurting his 33-year-old girlfriend Silvia Barthes during the dispute over whether they were going to watch DANCING WITH THE STARS or ASS-RAPED TEENS at his Manalapan house.

Barthes, who is sporting a busted up and cut lip, told police officers the musician shook her, yanking her copy of ASS-RAPED TEENS out of the DVD player, before throwing her on the bed and jumping on top of her.

The 51-year-old has released a statement saying, "I want everyone to know that I am completely innocent of any allegations made with respect to the events at my home on the night of March 2 and my refusal to have my enjoyment of DANCING WITH THE STARS curtailed yet a single other night."

"These allegations are cruel, like the bitch that made them, false, like her breasts, and without merit and baseless, like ASS-RAPED TEENS. At a more appropriate time and place, I hope and pray I will have an opportunity to address my fans and colleagues all over the world.

All 11 of them."



MR XTRA PRESENTS: LIVE FROM THE K-1 KICKBOXING WORLD GRAND PRIX, AUCKLAND, MARCH 5, 2006

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NOT GAY. BUT AN INCREDIBLE SIMULATION.

There's an 8 Man Elimination Bout. Up for grabs is a spot in the final 16 at the World's in Tokyo and probably some ring-girl pussy. The ring girls are overdressed in halter tops and short skirts so immediately I'm questioning the motivation of the fighters here. They should be in thongs. The ring girls, not the fighters. Tiny thongs where their assholes flange to either side of the string.

HIRAKU HORI (Japan) bt CYRIL ABIDI (France) by TKO
Abidi had a chance in this tournament but lost a leg in round 1 and threw in the towel. Fag.

JASON SUTTIE (NZ) bt PAULA MATAELE (NZ) by Decision
Suttie's "preparation" mostly consisted of a motorcycle accident and being held together by more bandages than King Tut. Not ideal then...and he looked winded early. Outboxed in round two. Won a "charitable" decision.

PETER GRAHAM (Australia) bt BADR HARI (Holland) by KO
Fight of the day. Both guys going full-tilt. Hari edging ahead. Seconds to go in the final round and the ugly Aussie unleashes his "trademark" "rolling thunder" kick to Hari's skull. Fuckin' devastating! Hari counting stars in Morocco as we speak.

PAUL SLOWINSKY (Poland/Australia) bt RON SEFO (NZ) by Decision
Sefo boxed hard but, as usual, lacks the razzle dazzle charisma and talent of his sibbling. He's Luke Wilson to Ray's Owen. Desperately needs some kicks. Slowinsky's sweeping legs carry this one.

Semi-Finals:

JASON SUTTIE bt HIRAKU HORI by KO
Hori's classy technique and longer reach has this one in the bag. But Hori lacks mongrel...and walks into a thumping straight right in round 3. Hometown hero "The Psycho" makes the final, the crowd go apeshit, and commentator Michael Schiavella comes in his pants.

PAUL SLOWINSKY bt PETER GRAHAM by TKO
Slowinsky kicks out Graham's leg early. Graham tries to hop on. But his leg's more fucked up than VINNIE ROSE boning a 60-year-old. No wait, nothing's that fucked up...

Super Fight No. 1:

PETER AERTS (Holland) bt. SEMMY SCHILT (Holland) by Decision

First meeting between the current champ, who's like 9 feet tall, and the former champ, himself no Leprechaun. Aerts tries to land overhand rights; Schilt's legs keep him away. First loss for Schilt but shoulda gone to a 4th.

Final:

PAUL SLOWINSKY bt JASON SUTTIE by KO

Slowinsky ahead on reach and kicks. Suttie rallies with punching flurry. Drops guard and takes a foot to the face. Slowinsky wins. He was my second choice in this tournament; I'd picked Graham as the winner. This costs me a $5 bet. The prick. That was $5 I could've traded for a hummer from TV interviewer Stacy Daniels! Instead of having to jerk off thinking about it!! What a bastard!!! But, ahh, well done Sir, well done.


Super Fight No.2:

RAY SEFO (NZ) bt. FRANZ BOTHA (South Africa) by Decision

First home fight in 8 years for "Sugarfoot". Or "Showboat" as most call him. And lovingly so. Big punches traded. Ray does some shimmying, some dancing, plays to the crowd. Both men smile at each other. Bit of a twinkle in Botha's eye. Franz makes a point of thanking his girlfriend after so we won't think he's a fag.

Entertaining end to a good night. First fight was flat; Graham revved things up. Slowinsky looks solid and poised. Ray Sefo gave the crowd everything they wanted short of a KO. Alas, it's another year of so-far, so-close for Suttie. Maybe we'll see him back for another shot...

And hopefully those ring girls will be wearing butt floss bikinis.

And some ben-wah balls.


 


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