Evil Angel
Rating: THREE "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems" BUSTED NUTS
When I first looked at this release I was sure that I was going to encounter a lot of bullshit; as I’ve fucked around with enough women that could be dubbed trophy whores to know that their existence is 5% fucking/95% a bunch of shit I don’t give a fuck about. So why should it be any different on the picture box?
NADIA STYLES. JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT WITHIN WHICH TO: FORGET HER FUCKING WALLET RIGHT AFTER YOU'VE DUSTED OFF A $500 BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AT WOLFGANG PUCKS.
I braced myself for all things extraneous and…well…worthless by my standards. MAC makeup is great, or so I hear, but hanging out at the fucking Nordstrom while some faggot paints your eyes “fuschia” is about as worth “it” to me as just going out and buying “it” elsewhere and actually getting some farting space in my goddamn bed at the end of the night.
Yes, TROPHY WHORES are only real objects of lust when somebody else is footing the bill. Early 30’s married architect bitches who spend the night at my apartment on Friday and chafe my cock so bad that I still can’t bring myself to walk outside the house come this here Sunday night, while I eat Sorreno’s pizza and watch porn and smoke pot and drink Pilsner Urquell and wish that it didn’t hurt to beat off because it was THAT FUCKING GOOD that I’d like to revisit it, albeit alone? Great. Daughters of prominent world politicians that burn candles on my hi-fi record player because, in their mind, $600 dollars isn’t anything to get upset about and then act like it’s somehow not my right to fuck their mouths as I please even though I pay for the goddamn MTV and the Vuitton handbag? Not so fucking much, my friends.
But I suppose I should calm the fuck down, because the only thing this video portrays these unique little snowflakes as being is whores. And, amazingly enough, there is no depiction of just how intolerable these whores really are outside of the sack. In fact, this entire DVD is devoid of even the introductory interviews where they try to make you believe that they do this for the fucking of it all and not the cold hard cash. Indeed, each scene foregoes the “hellos” and gets right to the sex—which is something I can appreciate a hell of a lot more than…uh…talking…and whatever else it is that rich broads do.
This being said, Trophy Whores is still not exactly my speed. It’s a little slick and hard to empathize with. These bitches are perfect, and while I can pull “good looking” a majority of the time…well…I ain’t going to lie. I don’t even KNOW bitches that look this good that upclose.
And this is probably a good thing. For them. For me. For everyone potentially involved. -- JUDGE ROY BEAN
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