Anabolic

Rating: FOUR "Wow! You Can Really Taste The Ass!" BUSTED NUTS

The fear of carbs has come and gone. Now the wind has swung the polar opposite way and they’ve got books touting the consumption of 20 slices of bread per day to get thin. Trust us, weight loss fans, listen to our advice. We won’t steer you wrong.

Ass is the new Atkins.

HILLARY SCOTT. A CUM CRUMPETTE. THAT IS: A BUN UPON WHICH TO SMEAR SMEGMA, ALEX.

That’s right. A diet of ass will do wonders for your figure AND your sex life. There’s one problem, though: acclimating yourself to the taste.

Therein lies the game. Kale is about the best vegetable you can eat, but have you tasted it? Yeah. Ditto with ass. The way around it? Ass cream pies.

Have you got your grandma’s recipe for ass cream pie? No? Use ours.

Take a fine lookin’ dash of COURTNEY CUMMZ, two cups of pre-tattoo-horror SAANA, and a teaspoon of the indispensable anal ingredient HILLARY SCOTT (a little goes a long way). Insert hard cock and stir.

Keep stirring. And stirring. Don’t let the mix get too rare. Monitor this with generous application of lubricant. Strawberry or peach is a favorite to help mask the taste.

You’ll know the warm, soft crust is done when you insert the load. Don’t let cool and enjoy. –- JULIA STEELY ROB CHILD

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