AND what can be said about our weekend that can't be said about this photo taken by our own CORNHOLIO on the verge of a horrifying exercise of the negative virtues of pimpitude.
I'LL HAVE MINE WITH MAPLE SYRUP, PLEASE...
FUCKED AGAIN: BY THE WHITE MAN. CORNHOLIO'S DISSERTATION ON THE NATURE OF RACE MIXING, FINE ASS CELEBRITY PUSSY GONE GAY AND MONEY HE AIN'T MADE
MS. BERRY & HER HOMOSEXUAL ESCORT, NEAR-NEGRO IMPERSONATOR GABRIEL AUBRY
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Oscar winner HALLE BERRY and escaped ho of mine, and her new "boyfriend," renowned homosexual GABRIEL AUBRY are "in love," according to the gay Canadian model's father without, it should be noted, not a single fucking shekel of remuneration for my hard earned efforts to give her the kind of loving that stays given. If you know what the fuck I mean.
My stunning ex-ho, 39, and man-oriented Aubry, 30, have been quietly "dating" and not paying me for said dates, since meeting on the set of a Versace ad campaign in November, but finally went public at a Versace store re-opening in New York City on February 7.
According to shocked associates and family members, the race traitor couple is completely smitten with each other, so much so that they forgotten to pay me my goddamned just due, forcing me to call my Jew attorney and summon up the awesome rectifying might of my PONTIAC SR2435 car antenna as it will apply to her ass.
Aubry's father Gerard told People magazine, "He told me he was in love. With someone without a penis."
While his agent Sean Patterson says, "It was something that was completely unexpected. COMPLETELY. And he's just enjoying each day as it goes by. And calling her Bob. And making her lay on her stomach when he fucks her. Hes' very, very, very happy."
My prediction? They gonna pay me my money. Or someone will be getting hurt. And I ain't talking about feelings.
CRAZY AZZED AUSTRIAN COACH HEILS HITLER, TAKES DRUGS, CHECKS INTO PSYCHIATRIC FACILITY FOR HEILING HITLER & TAKING DRUGS: OLYMPIC FEVER. CATCH IT!
MY NAME IS ELMER J. FUDDREICH. I OWN ZE MANSION UND EINS YACHT.
TURIN (SkullGame) -- An Austrian ski coach who bolted the Winter Games following a surprise anti-doping raid wound up in a psychiatric hospital -- the latest stop on his bizarre flight from Turin, where authorities were still analyzing 100 syringes and other material seized from athletes' housing.
Authorities took Walter Mayer into custody Sunday after he crashed his car into a police blockade 15 miles inside Austria's border with Italy. Police later took him to a psychiatric facility, Austrian ski federation president Peter Schroecksnadel told SkullGame. "Apparently, he's still in there," Schroecksnadel said Monday night. "I believe that there was a danger of suicide -- they had to take him to the hospital. He was goose stepping all over the place, attacking his Polish nurse, and accusing his shoes of being Jews. Behavior, not uncommon for this part of the country, but it was the syringes that tipped us off to the fact that something was amiss."
Mayer was banished from the Olympics over allegations of blood doping at the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City. He resurfaced with the team in Turin, triggering police raids late Saturday -- the first-ever doping sweep by police on athletes competing at the Games. Against the backdrop of the most stringent drug controls in Winter Games history, local authorities seized the syringes and 30 packages of antidepressants and asthma medication, Italian prosecutor Raffaele Guariniello said. One Austrian athlete threw a bag out of a window containing needles and medicines as police swarmed the house, the Italian news agency ANSA reported.
Schroecksnadel defended the presence of asthma medication, saying as many as five athletes were approved to use it legitimately. He also suggested the materials could be used for innocent purposes, such as injecting "vitamins." Adding that "the question is not the number of syringes but what was in them," he said before nodding off to sleep, waking only briefly to ask, "what was the question again?"
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN MOUNTS LIST AT BRITISH ACADEMY AWARDS AS A COUNTRY RESIGNS ITSELF TO COLLECTIVELY ACTING AS FAGS INSTEAD OF MERELY TALKING LIKE THEM. OVER A CUP OF TEA. WITH THEIR PINKIES RAISED. ALL THE WHILE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT WE SOMEHOW DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING MILES UPON LONELY WYOMING MILES AGO.
DIRECTOR ANG LEE AFTER RECEIVING THE AWARD FOR “LARGEST GROSSING GAY PORN THAT ONLY A HOMO’S GIRLFRIEND COULD TRICK HIM INTO WATCHING” WHICH, WHEN PUT IN THOSE TERMS, MAKES THAT STEAK DINNER YOU RECEIVED FOR UPHOLDING YOUR END OF THE “BARGAIN” SEEM A LITTLE LESS FAIR.
LONDON (SkullGame)—Donning a bowtie that served as a prime example of actions speaking louder than words, gay nip ANG LEE took a fag's share of awards at the BAA for his blockbuster hit Brokeback Mountain, narrowly beating off his stiffest competition The Constant Gardener; a film which we know little about but attribute it’s loss to the “dramatic depiction of a Mexican migrant worker not sucking off Heath Ledger”--a bold cinematic approach that apparently offended the sensibilities of the historically largely homosexual Isle of Britain.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL, who won “Best Male Support,” was reportedly busy attempting to illustrate his heterosexuality by trying to fuck his own sister in less-than-private settings; swearing up and down, literally, that having sex with men on film was no more gay than having sex with men not on film.
HEATH LEDGER, the star of Brokeback Mountain, told SkullGame reporters that, though he didn’t win the Best Male Role as he had hoped, “the experience was enriching and I’m not at all afraid of jail, or wherever my questionably not-queer career may lead me.”
Fag-hags and dastardly tricksters with pockets full of poppers and knee-touching tendencies uphold the notion that watching Brokeback Mountain is not only a demonstration of confidence, tolerance, and social health by “straight men”, but also a “really good movie—laden with comedy, drama, romance, and dudes fucking; just like all the other great films of our times such as Alexander, The Birdcage, Bent, American History X, and Latin Bareback Pool Orgy vol. 6.”: mandatory viewing for all men that are hung up on archaic societal norms such as not chugging cock or “platonically sleeping next to Danny Smith II, of Lafayette IN, in the raw”.
