Caballero
Rating: THREE "I Am A Dr. Of Porn Pathology" BUSTED NUTS
You know what this is like? It's like when you're 17 and you fucking luck out and fuck that broad from Jersey at her junkie walk up over on Sterling. She's 35 and because you're 17 you feel like a fucking stud. And then, like, 15 years goes by and you happen to be driving down Flatbush Avenue and your Russian friend is driving and there on the sidewalk you spot the now 50 year old slut. He asks you if you seen someone you know. Like Christ, you deny that bitch three times before the cock crows.
Yup. This movie is just like that.
SKINNY ELVIS
And to even get that to a THREE requires various peregrinations worthy of a fucking porn historian. OK? Well, here goes:
This movie was made before our personal fave KITTEN NATIVIDAD, officially did hardcore. So despite this movie being alllllll about tay tays and despite her having, indeed, a fucking load bearing load of knob, knob that we've had the luxury of having had our mouths alllll fucking over [note to Fayner: BEFORE you fucked her my friend], she and her knobberies effectively engage in a colossal act of robbery by not having nearly nothing to do with cock or the loads therein.
In this flick she was used as mere BAIT to get you to buy it and outside of the yuck yuck title, she's mere window dressing, DYNAMITE window dressing but mannequin style nonetheless. But, and this is where things get tricky: a few years after this was made she got divorced from her asshole husband/manager. He sued her for "back wages" and she was $80,000 in the hole to Mr. Jeff Foxworthy, or the lookalike that was her husband.
And was does a knob queen $80,000 in the hole do when the money is tight?
Fucking and sucking like fucking and sucking was about to be fucking embargo'd. So if you get your hands on these, THEN you should watch this because you can see her at her height and superimpose that over the images of her aged and desperatley trembling flesh of later years as it tried to work off $80,000 one suckjob at a time.
FAT ELVIS...42,368 DOWN, 37,632 TO GO...
Oh. Extra points for PATTI WRIGHT's somnabulent turn as "The Big Tittied Slut." -- VINNIE ROSE
Buy It NOW!
