THIS edition of SkullGame is being brought to you by the FAT GIRLS GONE WILD video series where fat girls go wild...to the screams and wild approval of almost no one.
WOOOOO HOOOO. A-HEM.
FATASTIC KELLY OSBOURNE ALSO NOW DRUG ADDICTED & TALKING CRAZY "AND SHIT"
KELLY OSBOURNE STARRING IN WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY FUCKING JANE: THE LATER YEARS.
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- OZZY OSBOURNE's daughter KELLY OSBOURNE is "planning" to "breathe" "new" "life" into her "ailing" "pop" "career" by copying Australian pop princess KYLIE MINOGUE in almost every regard outside of the not-eating-sexy-looking ones.
WILL THE REAL KYLIE MINOGUE PLEASE SHOW HER PRE-DECIMATED BY CANCER TA-TAS!!!
Osbourne, in the most stunning case of fruit falling close to the goddamned tree, is convinced she shares many similarities with the petite Minogue, as well as OLIVE OYL, MARY LOU RETTON and BONO, and hopes her recent shift toward Minogue's favored electro pop, will win her some fans. Or some value meals. Whichever comes first.
She says, "I have learned lots about performance by watching old videos of Kylie. And eating Ding Dongs. Both the food stuff as well as the penises they're named after. But mostly the penises."
And in shockingly disturbing news she has made it clear between mouthfuls of marble cake that she intends to rival Minogue's status as the most perfect ass in pop, with raunchy sex-themed videos.
She adds darkly, "Sex really does sell, so I'll be doing loads of that. Emphasis on the loads."
ROSA PARKS, CATALYST FOR THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT DIES; FLAVOR FLAV MOURNS THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW: WITH 6' FOOT TALL WHITE HO.
"I AM VERY PERSONALLY SAD THAT THE WOMAN WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BONE THIS WHITE HO DIED YESTERDAY & I AM MOURNING THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW: BY BONING THIS WHITE HO."
DETROIT (SkullGame) -- ROSA PARKS, a black seamstress whose refusal to relinquish her seat to a white man on a city bus in Montgomery, Ala., almost 50 years ago grew into a mythic event that helped touch off the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s, died Monday. She was 92 years old. Her death was confirmed by former Detroit Mayor Dennis Archer, who served as Parks' guardian.
For her act of defiance, Parks was arrested, convicted of violating segregation laws and fined. In response, blacks in Montgomery boycotted the buses for nearly 13 months while mounting a successful Supreme Court challenge to the Jim Crow law that enforced their second-class status on the public bus system.
The events that began on that bus in the winter of 1955 captivated the nation and transformed a 26-year-old preacher named Martin Luther King Jr. into a major civil rights leader. "Mrs. Parks' arrest was the precipitating factor rather than the cause of the protest," King wrote in his 1958 book, "Stride Toward Freedom." "The cause lay deep in the record of similar injustices."
In related news rapper NELLY just bought $200,000 worth of diamond jewelry. For his teeth.
LA'S MOOD NIGHTCLUB HAS ANTI-NIGRA NIGGA-HATING POLICY; EITHER THAT OR AN AVERSION TO RICH, BEAUTIFUL BLACK CHICKS.
"IT'S PRECISELY THIS NIGRA KIND OF NIGRA CELEBRITY RIFF RAFF THAT RUINS THE TONIER CELEBRITY WATERING HOLES," SAYS MOOD OWNER & NIGRA EXPERT DAVID JUDAKEN.
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- GABRIELLE UNION's publicist is calling for celebrities to boycott the Los Angeles nightclub Mood, (323) 465-3336, after the venue's owner allegedly canceled the actress' birthday party when he discovered she was African American.
The "Night Stalker" actress was set to celebrate her 33rd birthday with a star-studded bash at the top club this weekend, until Mood owner David Judaken allegedly realized he had mistaken Union for beach volleyball player GABRIELLE REECE (who is, as it so happens, bi-racial).
On Friday, Union's publicist Holly Shankoor of BWR Public Relations sent an e-mail around the publicity industry, urging a boycott of Mood. Shakoor's e-mail said, "You should all be aware of an incident that occurred with my client Gabrielle Union and the owner of Mood. Mood was going to host her birthday party. Once the owner found out she was African American, he not only canceled her party, but he proceeded to say that he "didn't realize Gabrielle Union was black. You can discourage your celeb clients from going (to Mood) and also doing any events (there)."
Shakoor quoted Judaken as saying, "I don't want (Union's) kind of people in my club."
In a statement to E! Online, Judaken mewls, "All the nigra statements written in her nigra e-mail are goddamn untrue. To say that this event was canceled over nigras or even niggas is hurtful and slanderous." Judaken is now considering legal action against Shakoor, declaring her e-mail "has had an immediate negative impact on even my non-Nigra business."
