Seymore Butts

Rating: TWO & A HALF "Talk Is Cheap" BUSTED NUTS

I’m a fan of SEYMORE BUTTS. He’s funny, clearly loves his work, gives his videos a genuine good spirited energy to them, gets the most out of his actors, and digs the anal. However, having seen a bunch of his movies, I’m afraid to conclude that the trailers to said movies are often more titillating than the actual movies themselves.

Take HOUSE OF ASS as an example.

GODDAMN IT. MARI POSSA, DESPITE THE PUNNY PORTENTS OF HER NAME, IS NO FUCKING JOKE. NO. NONE AT ALL.

Here is a cornucopia of what goes wrong with a Butts production, like: what’s up with the fixation of Seymore being on the toilet with what sounds like the mic being placed IN the bowl while he makes constipated grunting sounds? My doctor said Mylanta, my good man. Also, what’s the deal with all the extended jibber jabber in general, like with 10 non-fucking minutes of Seymore talking on the phone while he packs boxes, or Seymore talking on the phone while we stare at his computer screen?

While we’re at it, there should be a memo written about the continued over-abundance of fake boobs. This is especially tragic when considering MARI POSSA, who’s natural rack is far nicer and on display on the excerpts on this disk from another flick featuring her, that, yes, is more titillating than this film.

But it’s not all bad. The formula of Seymore walking around his house and happening upon fucking still works, even when urgly HERSCHEL SAVAGE is still the one getting laid. However, much more worthwhile Butts productions would be POETIC JUST ASS, for example.

PS: Despite cover dog Bubbles’ assurance to the contrary, TIANA LYNN is not an anal animal and she, and her all-girl scene that was just what the designers had in mind when they created the fast forward button, should be jettisoned from this movie. -- STEELY ROB

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