THIS haphazardly and slapdashed done issue of SkullGame is brought to you by SkullGame...
"WILL WORK FOR FOOD, EH? WELL THEN THIS IS A WIN-GODDAMNED-WIN THEN."
...for those not quite so fresh days.
AMERICAN DISCOVERIES: 1ST IN A MULTI-PART SERIES: TIGER WOODS IS A NEGRO!!!! WHO FUCKS AS MANY WHITE BITCHES AS HE CAN GET HIS HANDS ON. WHO KNEW?!?!?
LET ME TELL YA ABOUT WHITE CHICKS............
TYRA BANKS IS A DIRTY FUCKING GUTTER WHORE, WHOSE WORK WE HAVE THE UTMOST RESPECT FOR
"YOU GOT A MUSIC VIDEO? AND A COCK? WELL, HOTDAMN!!!"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Author Karrine Steffans has accused TYRA BANKS of sleeping with a host, that is less than 400, but higher than 376, of Hollywood men, after she argued with the supermodel over the 24 cock discrepancy on Banks' forthcoming talk show I AM A WHORE. Angry Steffans, who appeared on Banks' I AM A WHORE show to discuss her memoir Confessions of a Video Vixen, And By Vixen We Mean Slattern, says Banks attacked her for revealing love affairs with high-profile hip-hop and sports stars, a.k.a Rich Negroes.
Steffans tells the New York Daily News, "(Banks) insisted I wrote 'Confessions' because I was angry and wanted revenge. She said, 'These are my colleagues. They're people whose penises I know well!' Then she paused and tried to figure out if the plural of penis was penises or peni. But despite what she thinks, she and I are not that different slutwise. I mean what's a 320 cock difference. I have even heard her being referred to as a 'Hollywood Hop,' for the many men in Hollywood who have bedded her and moved on.
Bank's manager Benny Medina responds, "Tyra certainly never slept around. You can count her relationships on one hand. Especially if that was one, um, BIG, giant hand with like 400 fingers on it."
TOM "SLAPPY" SIZEMORE EVEN WONDERS WHY HE AIN'T IN JAIL YET.
"THIS IS FROM MY NEW VIDEO. IT'S CALLED I'M FUCKING YOU RIGHT NOW! IT'S GREEEATTTT...."
Troubled actor TOM SIZEMORE is battling a rare medical condition that leaves him sexually insatiable. A quality that has his potential cellmates at Soledad beside themselves with ass-raping joy. The star was recently diagnosed with priapism, which doctors believe could have been caused by years of alcohol and drug abuse. Either that or the steady supply of high caliber ginch afforded by being a rich sonuvabitch.
Sizemore's manager says, "He can have sex nine times without stopping. Which is under par for the average Hollywood type who's fucking everyone...out of everything....as often as possible. His condition explains his sexual addiction. He's in the midst of a massive depression, what with having to fuck all the time, being rich and taking all the drugs he can shovel in his piehole, but he's making tremendous progress. Especially if by progress you mean fucking all the time, being rich and taking all the drugs he can shovel in his piehole."
Tucker claims Sizemore's addiction prompted the actor to rig video cameras up around his house, which for the past three years have documented his activities with a string of women he has lured back to his California pad. Three such tapes have been allegedly stolen and are expected to be released on the www.skullgame.com.
COURTNEY LOVE, ON THE SIZEMORE FAT AND HIGH DIET
"HEY BABY...HOW ABOUT GETTING YOUR FAT, RICH, FUCKED UP MOM SOME MORE BEERS FOR THE RIDE HOME? PLEASE? C'MON. I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK. I MEAN I'LL DUCK YOUR SICK. THAT'S A GOOD KID..."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Troubled rocker, murderess and fat whore COURTNEY LOVE's life has hit more turbulence, or rather exactly the kind of turbulence to be expected when you're a fat murdering whore, with Los Angeles authorities declaring she has failed a drug test and thusly violated her probation. Los Angeles Superior Court judge Rand Rubin issued a bench warrant for the former Hole frontwoman Wednesday, ordering her to return to court on August 19 for a review of her rehab reports.
The judge then told her attorney, "(Do) something to solve Love's problem, or we're going to give her some more Rich White Person time to think about it, maybe go to rehab. Or NOT. Whatever." Love -- who recently announced that she's "clean and sober...oh, wait, I thought you said Slean and Cober! Haha...sorry" -- could also potentially lose custody of Frances Bean Cobain, her 12-year-old daughter with late murdered husband Kurt Cobain.
Deputy district attorney Gina "Knuckles" Satriano says 41-year-old Love failed a drug test when she was hospitalized after fainting during a Tom Sizemore party at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel. At the time, Love's attorney, the incredibly crafty yet devilishly stupid Jew Michael Rosenstein, announced that Love was "living a drug-free life."
In February, Love was sentenced to three years' probation and anger management counseling after pleading no contest to misdemeanor assault on a woman at the home of her former boyfriend.
