MEET a one MS. JOY KITTY. If ANAL PROSTITUTION is one honorable profession there is none more honorable than she for whom anal prostitution is not a job, but a calling. Not content to be a mere prostitute, in the very catholic sense of the word, SkullGame's newest find....well we'll let ITALIAN SAL tell it....
"IT'S NOT SO MUCH THE ANAL. OR THE WHORING. IT'S REALLY JUST ALL ABOUT THE ANAL WHORING!"
...Echo Park resident Porn Star MISS JOY KITTY proves that 28 is not too old to make it in this business of the suck. And the fuck. And sucking and fucking her way into our hearts and pants this sassy, sloppy cunt proves beyond a shadow of doubt that being shallow and stupid is exactly what is needed to succeed at being shallow and stupid. And succeed in the adult film industry she will, how can she NOT? She's got the shaved pussy.
"CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY PAY ME FOR THIS?!?!" WELL, HOW MUCH? "OH....LOADS & LOADS."
And if rumor has it correct, a burgeoning meth habit. Nothing serious. Just a little one, you know, “couple times a week, I could stop anytime” kind of thing. Anyhoo, after completing her first ever gangbang (on camera. For actual money) Joy was reported as saying “I like it better when I am doing it for myself but the money is cool too.” Indeed it is. Joy was reported to have been paid $600 for her first SkullGame scene, four times less the going average for gangbangs in the Valley these days. When asked, why so far below average? Joy said, “I never really considered myself an average girl, I always thought myself to be more mediocre.”
So did we Joy, so did we…
Feel free to contact her, or her manager JOSEFINA, for bachelor party, private, and video bookings directly at joykitty@hotmail.com. CC us here if you're talking about serious money (vinnie@skullgame.com). She don't want nothing to do with no money. Oh no. We'll handle that.
SELFISH CUNT SOURS ON DOCUMENTARY THAT HIGHLIGHTS HER SELFISH CUNTISHNESS
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR US TO FIND A PICTURE OF HER WHEREIN SHE LOOKS LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING BITCH ON WHEELS? 1.7 SECONDS. GETTING TO CALL HER A BITCH ON WHEELS TWICE IN A ROW? PRICELESS.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- J. "HO" LO has dumped a behind-the-scenes LOOK WHAT A CUNT I AM documentary, after she reportedly was filmed showing what a cunt she was: shouting and flinging water bottles at her minimum-wage earning crew. The singer/actress' record label Sony secured legendary but sorely in need of a buck director DA Pennebaker-- who shot Bob Dylan's acclaimed documentary Don't Look Back -- to film the superslutstar and insufferable human being during the making of her Rebirth album.
But J.Lo, unsurprisingly, was unhappy with not only the end result, and the catering, and the pimentos, and the color of the floor, but was reportedly miserable with both how the crew moved and the cologne they wore. And even though Sony executives and her managers thought the film perfectly depicted Her Royal Cuntness, to a T, in fact, reports Radar magazine, she "just didn't see it."
A source says, "Sony was thrilled with the finished product and its depcition of a ball busting bitch in action. So too were J.Lo's managers, who felt it captured the chair-throwing, hanger-beating-for-minor-infractions, real or imagined, Jennifer they knew so well.
"She, however, was 'stunned' by her depiction, complaining angrily about her angrily complaining in over 95 percent of the film, along with the sound of her voice and numerous scenes showing her abusing his employees."
Pennebaker has confirmed he filmed The Bitch, but refused any further comment.
IN A CONVERGENCE OF STRANGELY PROPHETIC PROPORTIONS BRITNEY SPEARS JOINS THE REST OF AMERICA IN NOT GIVING A FUCK WHAT THE FUCK SHE LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE
SPEARS & "DANCER" HUSBAND KEVIN FEDERLINE, SKIPPING TO A PRENATAL CLASS WHERE THEY WILL LEARN TO ASK THEIR MAID IN A FIRM, BUT AUTHORITATIVE VOICE, TO CHANGE LITTLE JESSICA CASSIDY'S CRAP-FILLED DIAPER. AGAIN.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Pregnant pop star BRITNEY "PORK" SPEARS has warned fans they will never see her looking sexy again -- because as a wife she "doesn't care" what she looks like. Since meeting her now-stunned husband Kevin Federline last April, Spears has dumped her glamorous image and is regularly seen wearing baggy clothes, tracksuits and sporting unbrushed hair and no make-up in the mistakenly dogheaded idea that this "will be good for our relationship."
Spears explains, "I think I'll always have a weight problem. I love junk food and occasionally will still splurge, but normally I just eat sensibly: Twinkies, Big Macs and the curiously apt admixture of Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs snack foods.
"I don't look in the mirror and say, 'Oh, I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. Look at me.' I see my imperfections, I see my flaws and I just don't care. I walk out of my house in my pyjamas, with no make-up on and I just don't care because that's how I feel more comfortable. If you want me to wear a fancy dress to go to Starbucks, then you are completely wrong. After I got married I was one of those people who let themselves go a little bit."
An apoplectic Federline, at such time as he regained the power of speech noted: "I did not at all count on this," before making plans to go to the Spearmint Rhino in Las Vegas as fast as his little pixie legs could carry him.
KIM CATTRALL WRITES NEW SEX MANUAL FOR WOMEN WHO LIKE NEGRO BASKETBALL PLAYERS
(PLURAL) CALLED FOR WOMEN WHO LIKE NEGRO BASKETBALL PLAYERS (PLURAL)
"WHERE'M I GOIN'? TO DISNEYLAND!!! WHERE I EXPECT TO GET TRIPLE TEAMED BY SOME CLIPPERS!!! YEAHHHH!!!!
KIM CATTRALL has been spurred on by the phenomenal, especially if by "phenomenal" you mean "largely ignored", release of her book SATISFACTION -- THE ART OF THE FEMALE ORGASM to work on a new sex-help tome. The sultry sexy senior citizen, who recently starred in WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY? on London's West End, will be further encouraging women to "release their inner sexpot" on baffled Mexican bus boys, Jamaican cab drivers, and Negro basketball players, especially Negro basketball players (plural), in SEXUAL INTELLIGENCE, even if her new sex bible will be more classically inspired -- boasting erotic artwork of cocks in mouths, instead of racy cock in mouth photographs.
The project will be completed without the assistance of her ex-husband Mark Levinson, who co-wrote the first book with the former SEX IN THE CITY star before wising the fuck up and getting the fuck out in 2003.
SO YOU WANNA BE A PORN STAR?!?!?
WHY YES, YES I DO.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Evil Angel will be holding an open casting call, meaning if you a ho? What wants to get fucked? Well on May 17th and 18th show the fuck up to fill principle and supporting roles for its next Buttman Comics Presents vignette movie. What means essentially a movie wherein you will get fucked. This will be the first project from Evil Angel shot on HD.
Last year, Buttman Comics Presents: Tales from the Crack was nominated for 5 AVN awards including 3 sex scene nominations, and won the award for Best Vignette Release.
Executive Producer John Stagliano is remaining with the project, as are producers Tricia Devereaux and David Crawford. For this second edition, Tricia Devereaux, who we will soon be boning like a motherfucker what just got outta jail, is stepping up to the directing spot.
"There are various characters in the movie, but we are especially looking for 4 to 6 females, or slut hos to the SkullGame audience, who have had some actual cheerleading experience, or a girl who has had experience doing dance-oriented stripping or feature dancing. Or at the very least a whole bunch of fucking and sucking," explained Tricia.
All agents and talent interested in attending should call Tricia Devereaux or David Crawford at 818-787-1414 or email Tricia at triciadevereaux@aol.com.
The casting call will be held at the Evil Angel offices, and is open to both male and female talent. Please call in advance for scheduling. The casting will run from 10a.m to 4p.m. on both Tuesday and Wednesday, May 17 - 18.
And will we be there with MISS JOY KITTY? Goddamned right we will be.
