And because our RACISM IS RIGHT ON!!! issue was such a resounding success we'll return in the near future with our newest installments, "JEWYJEWJEWJEW," "NEGRO, NIGRA, NIGGER: NIGHTTRAIN," and rounding out the troika, "YES, YOU SPEAK SPANISH, BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MADE OUT OF MUD TO ME."
GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT, AMERICA: MORE OVERTIME FOR TIRED COPS!!!!
And so if we, in our one small way, in our one cozy corner of the family of man's family room can do our part to spread unity and brotherhood through virulent racism, well then we will, goddamn it we will.
WHILE TERRI SCHIAVO DOZES & DROOLS, AMERICA WONDERS WHAT ITS LITTLE PRINCESS WILL DO NEXT
NOT A WHOLE FUCKING LOT
PINELLAS PARK, FL (SkullGame) -- A federal judge refused to order TERRI "Our Little Mashed Potato" SCHIAVO's feeding tube reinserted Tuesday, and as their legal options dwindled her stunned parents quickly appealed to the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit, which gave no hint that it would do anything other than that which was suggested by jurisprudential genius, SkullGame's own CLARENCE DARROW or KING SOLOMON, Mr. VINNIE ROSE who had suggested, in a moment of nuclear-powered thinking: cock.
The parents, Robert and Mary Schindler, stayed mostly out of sight, but supporters said that they were devastated at the cock order, and that their daughter's condition was deteriorating withOUT the cock as the third court in a week considered her case cock. Congress passed an unusual law Monday allowing federal courts to grant cock to whomever might need it, but a move that Republican leaders and Ms. Schiavo's family hoped would immediately block her death was proving more complicated. In a ruling issued at dawn, Judge James D. Whittemore of Federal District Court in Tampa wrote "well let's see what TERRI, herself, has to say: 'Oh Terri? Do you want more cock? Yoo Hoo!!! Terri? How about this: you jump up and do the Macarena if you don't want the cock?' THERE! You SEE?!?! Case fucking closed."
RED HOT CHILI PEPPER ANTHONY KIEDIS IN HOMO-FUELED RAGE OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO HOMO TO HIS HOMOEST BACKSTAGE AT A FASHION SHOW, DENIES HOMO ALLEGATIONS, SAYS "I AM NO HOMOSEXUAL!!! I JUST MAKE BAD MUSIC!!!
"YOU SEE I HAVE CONQUERED THE HOMO-PANIC INHERENT IN MOST HETEROSEXUAL MEN'S MINDS BY EMBRACING IT BOLDLY WITH BOTH HANDS AND TONGUING IT UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF THE HOMOSAPIEN WITHIN. NOTHING BUT BAD MUSIC. NOTHING BUT THIS."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Come on. He and his band suck, Even YOU know this.
A SKULLGAME MONOGRAPH: THE PERFECT ITALIAN SAL PERSONAL AD
I LIKE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, BICYCLE RIDES, AND NOTHING TO DO WITH NO COCK. OH YEAH, AND RACISM!
Here’s the scam. You put an ad online. Say…on an online bulletin board like Craigslist.
The ad is too good to be true and guaranteed to attract all types of money-grubbing sluts. Sort of like this ad:
Lonely Plastic Surgeon looking for more than a friend
I am a 35 y/o established Cosmetic Surgeon with a busy practice on Van Ness in San Francisco and near the Cal Train in Palo Alto. I am looking for a long-term relationship with an exceptional beauty between the ages of 23 and 28. You should be drug and disease free, smart, sexy and into physical fitness, I am.
Please include a photograph, preferably without any felt tip marker lines crisscrossing it (Plastic Surgeon joke)
Then just sit back and wait for the vultures to contact you. Sort of like this.
Monday March 14th
You open to someone closer to your own age, if she's hot?
Tuesday March 15th
My response: I am and you are, tell me a little about yourself. Where you from, what do you do? That sort of thing.
Her response same day: Let's see, I live in SF (nob hill) and have been here about five years. I grew up in Oregon. I work as a prosecutor. A few activities that I love are skiing, wine tasting, traveling, hiking, and cooking with a fun partner. How about you? will you send me a pic?
Wednesday March 16th
My response: Ooops! did I not put one in my ad? Hmmmm; I guess not. Anyhow, here is a picture of myself that I particularly like. It's about 6 years old but I pretty much look the same, pretty much...
Now about me; I love to read, write, be around women who don’t want me to suck the fat out of their ass, you know; normal stuff. Forgive my sense of humor. I also love to travel, been to Europe a bunch of times since I passed my boards in 99, not so much before that. Love cooking, love eating more, love to go to the gym and drink way too much coffee. I can’t think of anything right now. Oh well off to bed, I have to be in the office at 6am.
Her response same day: Thanks for the pic. Are you European originally? (your name sounds European of course). What are your favorite places there?
Why are you lonely? do you have to work too much? did you go to school or do you residency here so that you have friends here?
Monday March 21st
My response: European by way of New Jersey, no not European, although my parents were so I guess that would make me first generation American. My favorite places would have to be Milan, I love the Doumo Cathedral, looking at it has literally made me cry, it just made me proud to part of the human race. Southern Spain is also really, really pretty but its more a natural un-molested beauty. I went to school back East my business partner is hardly my contemporary as he is twenty years older and working on his second family so we have very little in common short of an appreciation for the female form.
Her response same day: lots of beautiful things to see in Europe. so how long have you been in practice with your business partner? it's just the two of you?
My response same day notice the twist the online conversation takes:
I have been in practice with him since 02 when I bought into his practice and yes it is just the two of us; but enough about me, let’s talk about your tits and more importantly my load on them.
Her response same day: huh?
My response same day: what?
DEMI MOORE UNREGENERATE WHORE
SEE?!!?
