This edition of SkullGame is brought to you by our friends at Red Light District. Specifically, MR. VINCE VOUYER, a friend and supporter of SkullGame and apparently now the victim of a damnable attack on his decency and honor via the wide dissemination of a photo purporting to BE Vince...
OH, OH...I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE WHITESNAKE VIDEO AUDITION, GOT LOST & ENDED UP HERE. CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE?!?!
...but who is in actuality a very, very, very gay man. This slight will not stand, Vince! And we will do all in our earthly powers to prevent your good name from being dragged through a veritable pageantry of faggotry via
THIS VERY PHOTO!!!
We promise, Vince.
SHERYL CROW, DESPITE FUCKING BETTER THAN ROSANNA ARQUETTE, STILL CHILLS OUR BLOOD
AGGHHHAGAHHHAHHA....MY EYES!!! OL' LEMON FACE SURROUNDED BY LESBIANS WITH BEACH TOWELS WHILE A NATION MOURNS LANCE ARMSTRONG'S LONG ORDEAL
MALIBU (SkullGame) -- Song-stealing Sucktrix, SHERYL CROW, 43, at a recent photo shoot in Malibu was attacked by a vicious klatch of beach bitches who, with towels held aloft, made her strip naked. And sing horrible songs.
Wearing just a skimpy G-string Crow chatted with the dangerous dykes before warbling out a tune that she neither wrote, nor paid for. Sheryl then launched into an extemporaneous diatribe regarding her eye-searing and homo-panic inducing nudity by asserting in a statement stunning in its aggressive untruthfulness: "I never considered myself a sex kitten."
Cancer survivor and American hero LANCE ARMSTRONG, her boyfriend for the last two years, approximately the last time he got a pause in there edgewise, commented before being immediately cut off by the loquacious Lesbian Protectorate, "Help...me."
The singer added: "I'd never written love songs. Well I've never WRITTEN songs period. But I've never had love songs written for me about anybody but ME, but when I met Lance all that changed. Now I have them write songs about how I feel about ME when he's listening to whatever new and interesting thing I have to say next."
NORMA DESMONDESQUE SHARON STONE STILL NOT REALIZING SHE'S BECOME KATHLEEN TURNER: A WAKE UP CALL
WELL GO ON THEN YOU...YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!!! WHO CAN'T APPRECIATE A SEXY, POWERFUL OLDER WOMAN!!! GO ON!!! GET OUT THEN!!! GET OUT OF MY OCEAN!!!
SOUTH PACIFIC (SkullGame) -- JOAN CRAWFORD, uh, we mean, SHARON STONE, star of, um, that lesbo leg-crossing flick with that old dude....no. Not that one, the one that molested that big-tittied Brit bitch? Yeah yeah, MICHAEL DOUGLAS. Anyways, she, in a fervid dervish of doddering denial, celebrated her 47th birthday with new male admirers (beach drifters) after an explosive bust-up with wised-up boyfriend Eason Jordan.
The actress was determined to enjoy her holiday in Tahiti even though former CNN news executive Jordan flew home after realizing that he was trapped in a hellish pas de deux with a Hollywood harpy who had crossed that continental divide of her mid-40s.
One of Stone's new admirers (bus boys) distracted her from her personal troubles by arranging a group of Tahitian dancers (disinterested Tahitians) and a birthday cake on her sadly special day that leaves her more aware than ever that while she's another year closer to her death, she's actually only five minutes away from career nullity. Approximately the time it will take you to read this news item.
But the next day the 47-year-old was photographed TOPLESS on the beach with yet another admirer (dogwalker), who she tried to engage in a forced game of frisbee. Reports British newspaper the Daily Record, "it was really quite an incredible example of someone trying to bear up...and failing miserably."
To which we at SkullGame say, "Good."
CONGRESSIONAL STEROID INQUIRY TAKES TERMINATOR-ESQUE TURN WHEN SCHWARZENEGGER HAS 'ROID RAGE ON SENATE FLOOR, PROMISES A QUICK INVASION OF POLAND, WE MEAN, PORTLAND
OUR DEBT TO HUMANITY WILL BE PAID IN THE BLOOD OF THE AGES. AND FUELED? BY BLASTERONE: THE BESTLY PRODUCED PHARMACEUTICAL PERFORMANCE ENHANCER....AGGGHHHH
WASHINGTON (SkullGame) -- In a recent 12-hour filibuster California State Governor, the former Mr. Olympia and serial sex molester ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, threw a few senate pages to the floor, cried about that Bill Murray movie SCROOGED and imitated the walk of crippled kids for the amusement of frightened onlookers.
Saying in the eleventh hour that California's troubles were caused by "greedy bread gobblers, idlers, malingerers, work-shy individuals, Jews and other anti-state elements," Arnold then exploded when asked about steroids.
"Agagggagghhhhhh!!! And roowwwwrrrrr!!! AGGHHHH...." said OBERGAULEITER SCHWARZENEGGER before dropping to the floor and doing push ups while ogling the now-cowering senate pages.
STEROIDS: Only getting better and better.
YOU DIRTY FUCKING JEWS BETTER BELIEVE IT, BABY!!!
