Evil Angel
Rating: FOUR "Bend Her Back Lassie, I Have Yards Of Crank " BUSTED NUTS
"It's good...but it's fuckin' deep!" -- The quote of this and every
other fucking Sunday.
KAYLYNN ABOUT TO FIND OUT JUST HOW
KAYLYNN is a relatively tasty brunette brunser dickhead [We have no idea what this german fuck is saying here either. -- eds.] who looks like a car rental receptionist (yeah, like we're fooled by the fishnet angle) who has LEXINGTON STEELE'S big hog in up to her fuckin' lungs and emits a startled shriek usually reserved for the shit things in life like:opening bills, electric shocks and getting kicked in the face by someone who patently hates you and everything you stand for. Even though, now that I think of it, I tend to side with them...who the fuck do you think you are anyway?
But I feel sorry for LS when he shoots politely in her face: he's visibly had a lot of fun that particular afternoon but is obliged to cum due to the restraints of the industry and for the gratification of people who have, no doubt, already been mown down by couriers and driven into trees on lonely roads. Or at least they will have by the time you read this. But what happens to their stash of porn after their deaths? As if I fuckin' care! So, look, look, I fast forward over it, realize that I still haven't mastered my DVD player and have actually turned it off, and now I'm hungry.
So after failing to enjoy a fresh can of horrific food I return to the scene with pretty LUCY THAI PUNK WAS A LIE (where's the box! I will verify that that's her fuckin' name) but why the gloves? Some women will assert it's somehow elegant but then they would say that about a kitchen appliance.
She's graphically hot like BROOKE MILANO, also featured, and boys who enthuse wanly over emo via redundant messageboards will admire her artistic eyeshadow. But what's with the studded belt worn by one of the three retards who assail her? Is that a cultural motif? He looks like someone who'd ejaculate (as later happens, I know, you're astounded and wait: two others do too!), and then ring some buddies in Eastern Europe to establish the next cash dispenser to illegally fuck with.
It says something that, well, I hate these sort of people so much that, much less than wanting to see them shoot semen everywhere or be involved in a energetic DP, I also want to see their bodies doused in petrol, torched and rolled in ditches and then thoroughly commit to a decent relationship with loads of kids. -- WERNER ASSBENDER
Buy it NOW!
