Platinum X Pictures

Rating: FIVE "For All The Wrong Goddamned Reasons" BUSTED NUTS

Quick. Question: What could you possibly call a movie touting a big-titted broad pimping the fact that this, her last movie, features more tramps who are most certainly as long in the tooth as fucking vampires and who should have certainly done their last movie many a fucking moon ago?

What, indeed.

I’ll tell you what: the cops.

TERI WEIGEL? WHAT IS CAROL CHANNING, ALEX?

Yes, yes, I was seriously considering calling the police on more then one occasion in this movie, the all-girl scene being the first. When I seen TERI WEIGEL and GINGER LYNN in something other than EXPLOITED MOMS, I nearly shit myself.

TERI WEIGEL with her big silver-dollar-sized nipples sitting up on top of her oversized bruised and battered tits, well, it was criminal I tell you. And GINGER LYNN? I thought she was dead, or at least I hoped she was.

What the fuck?

Please, keep your clothes on. This is not part of the fantasy. It's sick, it's like imagining myself fucking the old hag sitting at the end of the bar: you know she fucks, you know she fucks well, but some things are better left unseen, and this particular scene certainly counts as one of those things.

The next scene in this is worth mention if only for the fact that for those of us inside the fence it certainly ranks as disturbing, check that, very disturbing. The scene in question features DARREN JAMES.

Recognize the name? You ought to.

DARREN JAMES was Patient Zero at the middle of the big Porn HIV scare. Darren is the meat in a JEWEL-NINA BONET sandwich that leaves you wondering, what came first, the chicken or the egg?

I don’t know.

What I DO know is this movie is a must-see much in the same way a movie featuring aging sluts, clowns or midgets would be a must see. See? I goddamned hope so.-- ITALIAN SAL

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