Why do we ask? Oh. Um. No special reason.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY "HEY HO YAYO!" IT PICKS YOU UP WHILE IT TWEAKS YOU THE FUCK OUT & SKULLGAME: ASK ABOUT OUR DOUBLE TEAM SPECIAL!!!
ITALIAN SAL: MURDERING BEST FRIEND THEN FUCKING GIRL.
SAL WELL ON HIS WAY TO FUCKING THE GIRL
"You see since fucking CONDOLEEZA RICE would be like fucking your best friend, I'm going to have to go with the murder-sex. Why is fucking CONDOLEEZA RICE like fucking your best friend? Well they're both men, right?"
AND INTRODUCING THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE SKULLGAME FAMILY, RETRO-NAZI AND HOST OF THE ENTER THE 4TH REICH TV SHOW, OUR FAVORITE NAUGHTY NAZI: HEINRICH!!!!
HEINRICH, PICTURED HERE WITH ONE OF HIS CONSCRIPTED POLISH LABORERS, AFTER DOING "PUSH UPS" TOGETHER
"First of all I vood never be drinken because I worship my body as a temple, jah? However, if I had maybe a few too many Mueller High Life 40s, I'd kill the bitch and fuck my friend. Because it is the most manly thing to do. As for CONDOLEEZA RICE, well she is mudperson, foot soldier of the Zionist world government for whom extermination is too kind of a word."
THE DOCTOR: JUST TRYIN' TO GODDAMN ESPLAIN SOMETHING
I WASN'T RUNNING AWAY!!!! I WAS JUST GOING TO THE CAR TO GET MY SMOKES...
"I take C even though C is really just close to what the real answer is. The real answer would be to: murder your best friend's girlfriend then you murder your best friend, take your business card, stick it to your forehead with sticky tape and then have sex with your best friend's dog live on the Internet. Anything else is just a sign to me that you're not drunk enough."
CORNHOLIO: IS THERE SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE WHO SPEAKS JAMES BROWN?
WHEN A CAR ANTENNA IS OUT OF THE QUESTION SOMETIME A .357 WILL JUST HAVE TO DO
"Dig. I'm gonna have to go for boning the sister. Now I know from KOBE that CONDI cleans carpet like a Haitian janitor but you see this is an extra added bit of flavoring that I like. Sorta like tabasco sauce on ribs. Because I sees that she don't dig dick AND she knows I don't dig her but excepting she don't dig dick. So it's like a hat trick. Except hat tricks come in threes, right? OK. Well number 3 would be when I run the pics on SKULLGAME."
STEELY ROB: I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE
A CERTS ENCOUNTER OF THE THIRD FUCKING KIND
"I'm going to take 2 and D. That is fucking his girl AND fucking CONDOLEEZA RICE. Why? Because she's famous. And has a nice ass. For a 53-year old lesbian."
FRED FLINTSTONE: YABBA DABBA FUCKING DOO
NO BOWLING FOR ME TONIGHT BARNEY...I'M JUST GONNA STAY IN. WATCH A LITTLE TV...YOU KNOW...."
"Since I'm yabba dabba fucking drunk right now I'll tell you what I'd do: Betty."
PERRY THE GREEK: SAUSAGES ARE AMERICA'S FAVORITE HEALTH FOOD!!!
I'D SUGGEST YOU TAKE THE, UH, ONE IN THE MIDDLE
"I'd fuck the girl, murder her turkish boyfriend, my best friend, and then pop Rice one for good luck and then one to keep her quiet about the arms for cocaine deal I cooked up with the Syrians, which if anyone asks, and I'm not saying they will, was a cover for the Portugal connects...wait, what was the question again?"
TOOT SWEET AND HER "FRIEND"
IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT VINNIE MADE ME TAKE THIS PICTURE. FOR HIS OWN SORDID AMUSEMENTS. AND AMERICA'S.
"Fucking his girlfriend, especially if she's hot, is totally admissible. As is crashing the car. Scoring crack. And fucking VINNIE ROSE. These are all, it seems, sadly admissible. Sigh.
AND A FINAL FUCKING NOTICE.....
SKULLGAME and VINNIE ROSE are coming to a TOWN NEAR YOU. Between October 4th-20th, we will be doing what we do best: chasing pussy and being roadies for our favorite group of all time, OXBOW. The secret password is TEAMING UP FOR GODDAMNED AMERICA. Oh yeah, ITALIAN SAL and LITTLE JOE are holding down the fort in our absence. Bring drugs.
IT'S FULL ON ACOUSTIC GAYNESS. SO YOU CAN BRING YOUR WOMEN TOO. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT HERE. NOTHING LIKE DV CAMERAS AND POCKETFULS OF E. NOPE. NOTHING LIKE THAT AT ALL.
10/04/04 Sabala's Portland OR
10/05/04 Graceland Seattle WA
10/07/04 15th St. Tavern Denver CO
10/08/04 Replay Lounge Lawrence KS
10/09/04 Big V's St. Paul MN
10/10/04 High Noon Saloon Madison WI
10/11/04 The Note Chicago IL
10/12/04 Mac's Bar Lansing MI
10/13/04 Comet Bar Cincinnati OH
10/14/04 Nyabinghi Youngstown OH
10/15/04 Broadway Joe's Buffalo NY
10/16/04 The Space Portland ME
10/17/04 The Warehouse Washington DC
10/18/04 Sidebar Tavern Baltimore MD
10/19/04 North Six Brooklyn NY
