DARVA CONGER, THE PATRON SAINT OF "I JUST WANT MY GODDAMNED PRIVACY. I WANT MY LIFE BACK...WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE WHILE I GET PHOTOGRAPHED TOTALLY FUCKING NAKED," USHERS IN THE MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME ISSUE OF THE COMPLETELY UNBELIEVABLE
THE PORN INDUSTRY VOLUNTARILY SHUTS DOWN FOR 60 DAYS UNTIL HIV SCARE GETS SUSSED OUT
"HAHAHA...FUCK...IS THERE ANYBODY STUPID ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT SHIT?" SKULLGAME WRITER HABIB LAUGHS.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Adult movie producers agreed to shut down sets for 60 days last Thursday after two performers tested positive for the virus that causes AIDS. The MULTIBILLION dollar industry has issued statements voluntarily noting that they will not be filming again until the nonprofit Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation has found that all tests are cleared.
When reached for comment SkullGame's VINNIE ROSE said "yeah. Right. Sure. Whatever."
KRIS KRAMSKI GETS HIS ASS KICKED BY FAYNER, VINNIE ROSE TO THE GODDAMNED RESCUE
KRIS KRAMSKI HOPES TO GOD TO BE ABLE TO DIRECT MAINSTREAM FEATURES ONE DAY....HAHAHAHAHAHAAH. YEAH. RIGHT. SURE. WHATEVER.
Recently on LUKE FORD, head motherfucker and friend of SKULLGAME's, Scott Fayner had this to say about porn-director with pathetic mainstream aspirations Kris Kramski:
"According to my source, Kris Kramski is no longer employed by Hustler Video. Makes sense. I'd rather eat a Rib sandwich from AM/PM than sit thru his garbage. His remarks about HIV being harmless only fuels the already scorching flames of dumbassness which is Kris Kramski. Also, it was made quite clear during my chat with my LFP source that LFP and VCA do not share Mr. Kramski's remarks about HIV in any which way shape or form. Unless they too were delusional, that is. They believe, like most of us, that HIV is a dangerous and very serious concern for all of us."
SCOTT FAYNER BEING VERY CONCERNED WHILE ARIANA JOLLEE WONDERS WHERE THE FUCK SHE WENT WRONG
And in full-on NPR fashion VINNIE writes back:
"...Jesus. It is well-known that I'm an asshole's asshole over here HOWEVER it should be noted that though presented in an unstudied fashion, KRIS KRAMSKI's points on the relationship between AIDS and HIV is supported by the research of some of the top researchers. To whit: UC Berkeley's Peter Duesberg. Don't want to believe the porn prick or the pointy headed intellectual? OK, look at the evidence: more and more people are living with HIV in first world countries than are dying from AIDs. In the absence of co-factors the opportunistic diseases that were part and parcel of AIDS (and more than likely just some admixture of syphilis and other stuff), don't take hold and what should happen from a viral point of view, that the viruses host NOT expire, happens. And you have MAGIC JOHNSON.
And I'm goddamned smarter than almost anybody you'll ever know so believe it when I say it dude.
ciao,
Vinnie
It should be noted that ROSE was heard to mumble after emailing that off that if well-reasoned arguments failed, he'd be willing to fuck someone up to make his point.
TO FULLY COMPREHEND THIS NEXT BIT OF BULLSHITALIA, YOU'LL HAVE TO BEAR WITH US AND WALK BACK THROUGH TWO PREVIOUS BITS BEFORE THE LAST BIT, AND IT IS THE LAST BIT BECAUSE WE'RE HEP TO THIS HOES CONSTANT FRIGGIN' DESIRE TO STAY IN OUR BRAINS AND WE JUST WON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE.
PLEASE WALK BACK WITH US IN TIME. A MERE FEW WEEKS AGO. WHEN WE WE RAN THE FOLLOWING NEWS ITEM.
SELF-ASBORBED CUNT'S LEVEL OF SELF-ABSORPTION REACHED SELF-ABSORBEDLY CRITICAL LEVEL LEADING HER TO LEAVE L.A. FOR THE MUCH-LESS SELF-ABSORBED MIAMI
LOOK WHAT JUST WASHED UP ON THE BEACH: A BITCH!
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- Jennifer Lopez, known mostly for sucking long and hard, is leaving Los Angeles for good in an effort to show her true fans her real personality: that would be "insufferable bitch."
And J.Lo in an effort described as "not fooling anyone" is now ready to demonstrate her softer, funnier side by appearing at this weekend's Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, where she is expected to be covered in green slime just like former guests TOM "I'M NOT GAY" CRUISE and CAMERON DIAZ. She has declined a SKULLGAME invite to be covered in white slime just like former guests TOM "I'M NOT GAY" CRUISE and CAMERON DIAZ.
FLASH FORWARD TO NOW...
DESPITE SELF-ASBORBED CUNT'S NEAR TOXIC LEVEL OF SELF-ABSORPTION AND DESPITE HER MUCH-VAUNTED MOVE TO MIAMI, HER SELF-ABSORBEDLY CONSTANT BLEATINGS CONTINUE UNABATED AS SHE RECENTLY OPINES, "I HATE MY SKINNY ANKLES," WHILE AMERICA SCREAMS AND SCREAMS
I HATE THEM. GOLEM HATE THEM MY PRECIOUS. I HIDE. I HIDE.
MIAMI (SkullGame) -- JENNIFER LOPEZ insists she isn't as physically perfect as she thinks people think she is and, get this, she hates her "skinny" ankles about as much as we hate the rest of her.
She says in a burst of self-involvement bordering on the clinically defined stages of intense self-mania, "I don't love my ankles. They're too skinny! Look at them!!! I mean you can't possibly look at them as much as I look at them because I look at my ankles a lot, but do you see what I mean? The rest of me is PERFECT. But the ankles? Well they are whatever things are that aren't quite so perfect. What's the word for that again? Normal? Why, yes."
IN MIAMI A PENSIVE JENNIFER LOPEZ TAKES A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON "I, I, I...ME, ME, ME...I, ME, I, ME, ME, ME, ME. AND I."
But Lopez explains, "I moisturize my body and face whenever I get out of the shower, at night before bed and in the morning. Plus, I get at least eight hours of sleep a night. I don't like the way my body feels otherwise." J.Lo is launching a new beauty line in the U.S. next month, featuring a Renewing Body Exfoliator, Bronzing Body Moisturizer and Firming Curve Cream.
SKULLGAME is suggesting that she also try and/or think about adding our special line of coconut squeezings astringent called DEEZE NUTS. A light and fruity fragrance that gently hangs around your chin like a breathe of fresh Irish spring.
JENNIFER LOPEZ CAUSES CHAOS AT DENZEL PREMIERE AS SHE TOTES IN SIGN THAT SAYS LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M RIGHT OVER HERE!!!
YOU REMEMBER THAT SCENE FROM A CLOCKWORK ORANGE WHERE THEY WIRED THE GUY'S EYES OPEN AND MADE HIM WATCH MOVIES 24 HOURS A DAY. THAT'S WHAT DEALING WITH THIS CUNT IS LIKE.
BACK IN HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- Needy superslut freak JENNIFER LOPEZ caused chaos on Sunday when she upstaged Denzel Washington at his own film premiere in Hollywood.
Lopez tried to make a low-key entrance at the "Man on Fire" screening in Westwood, but she became the star of the show the minute she stepped onto the red carpet, wearing a revealing flesh-colored dress and carrying a sign that read LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M RIGHT OVER HERE!!!.
The 33-year-old was there to support reported new cock MARC ANTHONY, who appears in the film but before he could get a pause in edgewise MS. LOUDMOUTH had this to say about the recent porn HIV scare
"HIV is bad. But don't I look great? I got over that skinny ankles thing. Now I'M just worried about ME and MY shitty fucking career. Oh. Oops I got to go. I see some oxygen over there that I haven't already sucked down. Ta ta."
