FIGHTING AND FUCKING, FUCKING AND FIGHTING: IT DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. OR DOES IT?
So we were sitting around getting high and Sal says "we love ho's. But we love fighting too. We should start putting fight shit on SKULLGAME." Then we all ignored him until like two months later when we were sitting around getting high and I said "I have a GREAT idea, we love ho's. But we love fighting too. We should start putting fight shit on SKULLGAME." Then we went back to getting high and fucking ho's and finally someone said "say weren't you guys going to start doing fight stuff?" And so here we are: welcome to SKULLCRUSHER. And as soon as we're NOT high anymore (AS IF) we're going to start carrying all kinds of fight shit in THE SKULLGAME STORE (right under EXPLOITED MOMS on the front page). And fuck you if you don't like it.--VINNIE ROSE
THERE ARE NO SLUTS QUITE LIKE FIGHT SLUTS
RACHEL AND AMBER THINKING ABOUT THE MEN OF SKULLGAME
LAS VEGAS (ITALIAN SAL reporting): UFC 47 had submissions and hits but above all butts and tits. Two sets!
Rachel, the blonde, is one of those broads who are cookie cutter fine: 5’7, big fake knobs, and an ass that will make you want to kill your neighbor. Rachel is also a bit of a nomad (read: an escaping slut), who lives in two states and has moved between 7 different cities in the last 3 years. She was recently a bartender at the very Sexy “Beach” nightclub that was featured in HBO’s Taxicab confessions, a fact that we will not soon forget.
Amber wouldn't give me no play on account of her talking too much to VINNIE, a losing play if I ever saw one.
EXHIBIT A IN SKULLGAME'S UPCOMING LAWSUIT AGAINST THE MAN SHOW'S JOE ROGAN FOR HIS SEXUAL ASSAULT ON OUR OWN ITALIAN SAL
IT...IT WAS FUNNY...AT FIRST....
"I..I...don't know how it happened. I was just walking along. Minding my own business, your honor. And then NEXT THING I KNOW I was trapped in the appropriately named REAR NAKED CHOKE HOLD. And then I kind of blacked out. And when I woke up my ass hurt. And there was $50 on my pillow. I...I'm so ashamed. Ashamed in a way that would only be temporarily mollified by about $20 mil. Yes. That should just about do it."
HEAVYWEIGHT RICCO RODRIGUEZ FUCKS HOT BITCHES
THE FORMER HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP, HIS BITCH WITH THE BIG TAYTAYS, AND RED LIGHT DISTRICT'S VINCE VOUYER, WHO LARGELY HAS THE FUCKING RIGHT IDEA, SUBMIT TO OUR TREMBLING HAND SNAPSNOT
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- So we're hanging out at the press conference with VINCE VOUYER and FRANK TRIGG. Wait. We didn't give a fuck about VINCE VOUYER and FRANK TRIGG. It was that they were sitting with former heavyweight champion RICCO RODRIGUEZ. Wait. We didn't give a fuck about former heavyweight champion RICCO RODRIGUEZ. It was the three HOT ASS HOES he was sitting with. One of whom is badly pictured above. In fact the only reason we took this picture is to capture her taytays in all their glory, which was subsequently ruined by the selfish former heavyweight champion RICCO RODRIGUEZ who pulled her forward at the last second to conceal from our camera eye her big, giant taytays.
He then went on to challenge MIKE KYLE to a fight before disappearing to his room to, we hope, lay the pine to all three broads. A privilege that rightfully belonged to SKULLGAME.
AND NOW SAL'S FIGHT REPORTING WHICH, BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU ALL HAVE THE ATTENTION SPANS OF BOY-MOLESTING PRIESTS, WE'LL INTERSPERSE WITH HOT BITCH PHOTOS JUST TO KEEP YOUR ATTENTION
LIGHTWEIGHTS
Genki Sudo the Neo Samurai with the record of 9-3-1 defeated Mike Brown 9-2-0 in a submission that was part arm bar part triangle and part devastating in 3:31 of the first round. After helping Brown up and having his arm raised in victory, Sudo raised a banner that included all the worlds flags and the words: We are all one, along the bottom of it. Indeed we are. Especially if by one you mean, wearing a Kabuki mask and doing the Robot dance, which he did.
Yves Edwards 23-8-1 won a three round split decision over Hermes Franca 8-2-0. In what was my opinion the best fight of the evening, this fight left me wishing there were two more rounds.
Wondering what’s next, expect to see Edwards climb in to the Octagon versus Josh Thompson next. During the post fight press conference Yves threw down the gauntlet that was promptly picked up by Thompson and elicited Edwards smiling remark, “I am going to knock that guy out.”
WELTERWEIGHT
Nick Diaz 9-2-1 did the unthinkable at UFC 47 knocking out, wait let me repeat that just in case you missed it, Knocking out Robbie Lawler 8-2-0. Not an easy feat considering Lawler is thought to be the hardest hitting Welterweight in the UFC having beaten both Chris Lytle and Tiki Ghosn who were slated to mix it up later on this evening. Cesar Gracie-trained Nick Diaz was a perfect example of nothing to lose and everything to gain, and gain he did. Originally a 3 to 1 underdog Diaz did the unexpected standing with Lawler and even taunting him throughout the fight in an attempt to, as he explained later at the post fight press conference, “get him to come at me.” And after ringing each others bells more than a few times Diaz tattooed Lawler in what can only explained as a fade way right hand punch at 1:31 of the second round.
HEAVYWEIGHTS
Jonathon Wierzorek 6-0-0 (Don’t let this record fool you) defeated the much better but less lucky Wade Shipp by referee stoppage when the prone and exhausted Shipp could no longer actively defend himself from the pitty pat punches being thrown to the back of his head. Both of these fighters suck. There I said it. It had to be said and I said it.
Mike “Mak” Kyle 11-2-0 made a very extremely impressive UFC debut versus his alternate opponent Wes “The Project” Sims. After getting caught in an arm triangle by Sims twice, Kyle chased the distracted Sims down, striking, clinching and finally knocking Sims out 1 second shy of the second round.
Now what would Las Vegas be without a little controversy?
Sims claims that he was distracted due to the fact that he was complaining about being bitten by Kyle while attempting to choke him, even going so far as to point out the very obvious teeth marks on his chest. Could Mike Kyle have bitten Sims? It’s highly unlikely due to the fact that Kyle was wearing a mouthpiece. Is this the last were going to hear about this? Not likely, according to Dana White at the post fight press conference the Las Vegas athletic commission would be investigating the incident. Viva Las Vegas!
Andrei Arlovski 8-3-0 defeats his alternate opponent Wesley “Cabbage” Correira 25-5-0 by TKO. Originally slated to fight Tim Sylvia who bombed the fuck out due to another dirty drug test, Arlovski laid so much leather on Cabbage he literally proved my theory that guys who dance… normally don’t fair well versus guys that look like they have killed for food. Arlovski TKO’s Cabbage at 1:15 of the second round literally sending him head over heels before the referee stepped in to save the day…and Cabbage, yeah he saved him too.
MAIN EVENT
Top contender Chuck Liddell 13-3-0 (in MMA) knocked out top contender Tito Ortiz 11-4-0. In a fight that truly electrified the arena in a way I have never seen before in MMA the crowds in a move reminiscent of soccer in Europe alternated between, one half of the arena chanting Tito, Tito while the other half chanted Chuck, Chuck. And the crowds would not be disappointed…well, at least half of them. While the first round was a bit of feeling each other out and checking their punching range, second was much different. Tito did exactly what he said he would do, stand in front of Chuck and trade punches and in that trade Chuck backed Tito into the cage and let loose with an overwhelming barrage of punches that left the battered and bloody Ortiz splayed out on the canvas at the 38 second mark of the second round.
