HEIDI FLEISS: THE PATRON SAINT OF THE KIND OF HORRIBLE HO'S THAT WE'RE WILLING TO FUCK FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE
THE SKULLGAME UGLY HO PRIMER
SLUTONIA (SkullGame) -- Sure, sure, we pull the hot bitches like hot bitch pulling is a fucking Olympic sport but sometimes that's not even the point. We could eat filet mignon every night TOO but, you see, we choose NOT to. Similarly there are times when the constant demands placed on you by hot bitches, demands like
1) "there are dwarves hiding behind my bed. Come over and fucking just take care of them would you?"
FOR YOU WE'LL REMOVE THE DWARVES FOR NOTHING, BABY!!!
2) "do I really seem like I'm really on drugs?"
"IT IS CUSTOMARY IN MY LAND TO WEAR CHALK ON ONE'S FACE AND A COWBOY HAT...WHEN HIGH AS A FUCKING KITE"
3) and the classic "I've been arrested. Come bail me out."
"BAIL ME OUT AND I'LL...I'LL...I'LL SUCK YOU OFF?"
are more than a good man can bear.
ENTER THE TRUCKSTOP FOOD OF THE CHICK WORLD: UGLY BROADS
These are the ones that you fuck when you're too beat to get off of the couch and we're here to report that if you can pull it off without anyone seeing you, knowing it was you, her knowing where you live, your real name, or having her spend the night, you are golden.
And so we here at SKULLGAME are proud to bring you the debut of
BROADS WE'D FUCK IF ONLY NO ONE HAD TO KNOW ABOUT IT!!!
1) "SUSAN"
Sure she was a little bit older but we didn't mind that. Sure she smelled like menthol cigarettes and cough syrup but we didn't mind that either. In fact we didn't mind fucking her at all except for her nettlesome habit of pulling us to her chest and saying shit like "there, there. Tell Mommy all about it."
"YOU REMIND ME OF MY NEPHEW"
2) "SNUGGLES"
How the fuck do you explain this? How? How? Well....she was there. There being the motel where we were waiting for what ITALIAN SAL would only describe as a birthday surprise. Unbeknownst to us he had put our pics up on Match.com and fabricated a whole love affair with this broad and then had her show up to meet us. I was too polite to say fucking no.
My moment of great and abject terror: "YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST EATING PUSSY DO YOU?"
SADLY, NO
3) "GRISELDA"
Go ahead and laugh, laugh. But fucking her was like fucking a chainsaw. I mean it was good. Man, the screaming, the fucking moaning, the wall-climbing attempts at escape....and that was just HABIB!!!
YOU TARZAN, ME GONE
4) "RACHEL"
She wanted a DP. We gave her a DP. We have photos of us doing so but we would rather die than to have another single human being see them.
"WILL YOU WALK ME TO MY CAR? OH NO, THAT'S OK. I UNDERSTAND. I KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF CARS.
THE EMBITTERED PORN DUDE INTERVIEW: RANDY WEST
YEAH, GOLF IS GREAT. GREAT. YUP. JUST FUCKING GREAT
You'd think fucking, fucking, and fucking AND getting paid so much for it that you never had to work again would be delightful.
You'd think.
Porn Cock Extraordinaire RANDY WEST doesn't.
Crouched on a director's chair in Vegas last time we went, West looked like a man forced to eat shit.
SkullGame: You look like a man who they forced to eat shit.
RANDY WEST: This is my last show. I kind of feel like staying home and watching football. Kinda like I've stopped shooting. I'm going to give the whole business a break for awhile. Just to see if I want to keep going or not.
SG: And do what?
RW: I'm a golfer, man. I play golf. Do a little traveling, play a little golf. Actually play a LOT of golf. But this industry is like the last thing I want to think about. Golf is the thing.
SG: Excuse my total fucking incredulity but I find it hard to believe that you don't derive SOME scintilla of enjoyment out of fucking 18 year old pussy. At, Jesus Christ, however old you are? 60?
AMBER RAIN? MEET PEARLY RAIN. PEARLY RAIN? MEET AMBER RAIN.
RW: Well I do like LUCY THAI. LILY THAI. She was outstanding. Really good. SABRINA SNOW was really good. AMBER RAIN was good too. But I'm trading the pink holes for the green holes. That's where I'm heading now.
SG: Fool.
RW: What?
SG: Nothing.
A DISCUSSION WITH A HOT BITCH REGARDING OUR INFREQUENT PENCHANT FOR POKING HOGS
HABIB ENDURES SOCIALLY SENSITIVE QUESTIONING
HOTBITCH: I think you're making fun of them. I mean one of those women just looked like a little pig. Pork face, all red. I don't believe you really....
SkullGame: No WAY! The joke is that we DON'T like them. That's the joke. The truth, the reality, of course is that we DO like them. Just as long as we have to pay no social price for fucking them we're FINE with fucking them. God knows we've fucked you hot bitches enough. We just don't like talking about it too much because, well, because it...
HB:...smacks of exploitation.
SG: Hahaha. At MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME everything smacks of exploitation.
