Red Light District

Rating: 4.5 Busted and Staggering Through the Streets of Prague

To paraphrase Andy Warhol, in the future everyone will get his cock sucked for 15 minutes. Or forever. Or Apocalypse NOW. I mean if Erik Everhard hasn’t put in for the Governor of the World by the time this is published he should have. I mean don’t get us fucking wrong we ain’t no Fan Boys over here. I mean we know our way all around The Pussy at MACK AVENUE, jack, but this motherfucker…

OK…

I’m stumbling and mumbling for the best way to say the righest thing but the point is still the same: what the title lacks in focus (soccer? Badminton? Shuffleboard? Which “sport” exactly?), it more than makes up for with the kind of fucking and sucking that frankly makes me want to kill Everhard and steal his life, like some kind of porned out Talented Mr. Ripley.

This thing is great.

Like Tony the Tiger GREAT.

And the only thing that kept me from giving it the 5 Busted Nuts it deserved was just too much man ass and that all too unfortunate Girl to Boy Analingus bit in the first scene, which sent me down the fast road to total homo panic. That ass attack notwithstanding these scenes kill and though the Kylie Wilde scene is shilled to sell it, the winner in my book is Katsumi getting flag-poled by Lexington Steele. Genius. Genius. I will find Everhard. I will fashion myself after him in total. I will steal his fucking life. I will steal his life. I will steal his life. And I will stop saying "WOW" when I fuck beautiful broads like he does. (Hey bro, some words of advice: act like you fucking been there before.)—VINNIE ROSE

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