"You."
"Oh yeah. That's right."

Hey? You two come here a lot? Oh. The silent treatment, eh? Let's see if my big ol' cock doesn't work a peep out of you! Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah. Isn't this great? Forget it. Forget I asked. You just sit back and fucking enjoy it."

Periodically I'm gonna turn my bully pulpit over to the bullies that will make the best use of it and here, today, we feature yet another missive from the recently concluded Erotic LA Expo from our own Italian Sal because, you're goddamned right, this is Erotic LA Expo WEEK and this is #3 in a series of fear, loathing and a deep, deep abiding love in the city of angels.

So welcome to another

ITALIAN SALVO

"Super Babe™ is made of a soft, flesh-like silicone rubber with a skeleton articulated with stainless steel bones and specially designed stainless steel joints. She is quite durable but should be treated with the care she deserves. Each Super Babe™ Can be customized to your personal tastes ... YOU select the following to your taste. Hair color, skin tone, pubic hairstyle."

And as soon as I finish fucking the vacuum cleaner, I'll be back for YOU!

What a totally, fucking, skin-crawlingly great groundbreaking idea! So different. So unique. Well, maybe not unique. We have, actually, seen this one before. Like 10 minutes ago on the opposite side of the Erotica LA 2003 Expo.. I mean the Real Doll ™ was made world famous by the Howard Stern Show. But fuck it. The more the merrier. Beside what’s the difference? I have no fucking idea. All I know is that she, the Super Babe™, had a shit load of talcum powder on her. I also know she is going for $5,500 simolians.

So I chatted with the Super Babe's main man Mark Maki, Owner/ Mad scientist?/Creator/and possible defendant in a Real Doll trademark suit and this is what he had to say.

SG: Hey there Big Mark.
MM: Hi! (All too excited for any attention that doesn’t involve a subpoena)
SG: Would you suggest this to a commuter who would like to take advantage of carpool lanes?
MM: Well, she costs $5,500; you would have to rack up a lot of tickets to make it equitable.
SG: Okay. In theory, what if I was to fuck it, AND carpool with it?
MM: That would be much better.
SG: She seems like an awfully big commitment, what with all the talcum powder and money.
MM: Well, not really, not quite as big as say, marriage.
SG: Well, I don’t quite know if that is really valid comparison since I could marry someone in Tijuana for 6 bucks and a Kit Kat Bar. Let me rephrase. If I don’t lather this rubber bitch up with talc every 20 minutes, will she dry up and get all withered, you know, like Heidi Fleiss?
MM: There is certainly a level of care involved and we do include instructions with each sale.
SG: And how many of these dolls have you sold so far?
MM: 300 so far.
SG: So… Can I fuck her? You know purely as a journalist.
MM: (Laughing) Oh sure.
SG: No Mark. I’m serious, I wanna fuck this bitch. Like right now.
MM: Here? At the Expo?
SG: Listen Mark, I’m ready to get my fuck on. NOW! I want to see where the rubber, forgive the pun, meets the road.

At this point the clearly shaken Mark Maki of Super Babe™ extended an open invitation to the folks at Skull Game, and me in particular to come test drive one of his talc’d up tramps at their home offices in Chatsworth CA. Will I be going? You goddamn right I will. Will I be fucking? Come on, what the fuck do you think?!?

With this ring, I thee wed...