So’s this broad says “let’s go see some dancers.”

So’s I say, Cool.

I splash on some Aqua Velva (no shit). I peel off a role of Fifties. I throwback some Grand Marnier.

I mean I never heard of the fucking theater she dragged me to before but what the fuck, you know?

Then out skips a dude in a codpiece. Not only does he have on a codpiece but he’s scampering all around the stage waving his hands and kind of acting like a bird. OK. Whatever. I mean the MCs I’m used to usually just stay the fuck in the disco booth but this is a different kind of theater, I’m guessing.

So anyway the music from Roller Ball starts up and I think “finally. Cool. Cooze time.” But noooooo….more broads (shit. I should be glad they were broads at least. I mean instead of that guy in the cod) but they’re all jumping around like that fruit in the tights and I’m starting to wander what the fuck is going on here.

She says, “isn’t it great?” and I know that this relationship is going in the toilet because this is anything BUT great. I excuse myself to go get a smoke and run to my car, FLEEING the scene and freeing myself from a possible two-hour waste of bird-like behaviors with nary a naked tit in sight.

I think I did the right thing.

But I have to say that at MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME we’re getting as excited as shit about Friday’s porn show in Los Angeles. Not for the obvious reasons like assholes in the industry that you might think are worth a tinker’s damn, but for the less obvious ones like our NEWEST addition to the mix here.

We call it: PULLING IT OUT.

Where in the midst of an interview Sal or I will just pull out our cocks and ask for an appraisal from the person being interviewed. It’ll be great. We’ll have photos. For sure. I promise.